Today severely lacked anything interesting, so I’m at a loss for what to write about. This initially unplanned theme about my crotch has run its course because nothing’s been going on with my crotch since Bloc Party, so now I’m empty (don’t ever expect me to go for the obvious jokes).

I suppose I could break down the next few days for you:

What I Did Today: Packed for Greek Easter and Vegas, dropped the Marquess Annie off at Aunt Jessica’s, hit Lush for last minute beauty products and had a dinner at Bucca di Beppo that wrecked my stomach (that’s most likely tomorrow’s tale).

Saturday: Drive to Bakersfield for brunch with Tim, Lisa and the kids (Lisa is my best friend of 20 years now––yeah, a while freakin’ score!), drive to Fresno for Greek Easter so The Boyfriend™’s family can perform QA tests on me

Sunday: Greek Easter, gorge self into oblivion, force The Boyfriend™ to chauffeur me back to L.A. as I complain about how I won’t fit into my strapless dresses, fly to Vegas, where I could possibly look like a Midwestern sorostitute who doesn’t understand strapless dresses are not in any way democratic.

But this is where I must end and fall into conjecture and guess work because there’s this enormous line of demarcation when it comes to Vegas and me. I haven’t been there since I was nine. It was a Circus Circus paradise for little me and a Circus Circus nightmare for my parents (oh God, perverse images of whips, trapezes and clown noses between my parents just entered my head––GET. IT. OUT.) But now I’m not sure what to expect from Vegas at 31-years-old. What do you say to Sin City when you’re completely okay with sin because you don’t believe in it? How is an atheist supposed to enjoy a city that crutches its marketing campaign on Original Sin? Maybe I’ll hit people in the head with apples who look guilty for indulging in the vices of gambling and nudity. And on top of it all, isn’t it supposed to be “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?” How am I supposed to come to terms with that catch phrase of transgression when the Internet will get not only details but also pictures?