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Shamu-nado – Orca Twister at SeaWorld

I can’t believe my childhood dream of flying is finally coming true. Ever since I was a baby Orca, I have wanted to travel the world through the skies. Yes, an orca, a whale. Actually, we are more related to the dolphin than the whales, but we have it in our names. So, I am a flying whale at this moment. But let’s go back to the start to really know my story.

I am Momo and was born in Solana Sea near San Diego, California. I go by the pronouns he/him. And my whole personality is based on whichever cute trainer works with us at Seaworld. They call me Shamu here. I have a stage name and everything.

Can’t wait to hire a ghostwriter to write my biography and catch some fishes for my retirement plan. A few of you might be concerned about how unfair it is to see a wild animal play tricks to entertain people. But oh, I love my life.

Have you seen the ocean? Where is one mindful orca supposed to find food? You guys have it lucky. Your food comes in plastic wrappings, but our food comes with plastic wrapped inside it. So, when they consensually abducted me from the sea, I was happy with the organic food supply here.

I was given lessons to do random things like touching my trainers’ hands, doing twists at the surface of the water, galloping like dolphins, etc. I don’t get the last one considering SeaWorld already has dolphins. I like the attention of people when I do something as little as jump out of the water and back. The clapping and cheering. It is perfect.

All was going well till Tim showed up. Tim is in his late thirties and retired from the military. My previous trainer was Maria, and she was quite easygoing. I heard she got fired for being lazy or something with stealing and jail time. Tim joined shortly after. He had a grumpy vibe to him. I literally needed an aura cleansing session with my fellow orcas after training sessions.

Tim makes us work extra time, and on some days 20 minutes extra. I wanted to report him to our senior trainer, but they didn’t understand my language. American schooling should offer more inclusive language training.

But it all ends today. The heavens have answered my prayers, and I am given a golden opportunity. A big Tornado has struck the SeaWorld. And it has taken all the animals in its swirl. I said hi to the Beluga whales. They are not as sweet as people think. They are rather judgmental creatures. Anyway, that is how I am a flying whale today. Now back to reality.

I need to find Tim. I will finally be able to bite his butt. But the tornado is going too fast, and I can barely spot anyone. There! I bite Tim but not lethal. He screams like a frightened little kid. My orca friends and I laugh out loud. It is fun scaring the people who think they can make you dance like puppets on their fingers.

We have fun biting some more trainers and chatting with other SeaWorld creatures. We all agree that it is a management conspiracy to keep us locked in different places as we would be too strong together. At one point, I overheard the conversation of sharks forming an animal union to fight for our rights.

After all the fun and frolic, we orcas had a pious idea. We are some of the deadliest creatures. It is time we used it to do some good in the world. The tornado had just hit the police station, and the criminals were running away. No cop cared about them. Maybe because the cops were corrupt, or maybe because a major natural disaster had struck, I can’t decide.

We orcas surrounded the criminals. The tornado twisted the thieves and us together. It was some very intense staring at the criminals. Then all orcas started biting them. By the end of the tornado, all criminals were badly injured. And it is safe to assume they won’t be running away anytime soon.

After several hours, the tornado finally stopped, and all the creatures were bought back safe to SeaWorld. The theme park will remain closed until the property destruction has been taken care of and cleaned up.

It has now been a few months since “Shamu-nado” and Tim is yet nowhere to be seen. I’m looking forward to my next trainer and next tornado if the trainer is not of my liking.

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The post Shamu-nado – Orca Twister at SeaWorld first appeared on FunnyDesigns.com.



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