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Olá!
No post de hoje vou partilhar a minha experiência com digamos "distúrbios alimentares". É uma palavra talvez muito forte, mas eu nunca tive uma boa relação com a Comida... Quem me inspirou este post foi o nosso querido Miguel do blog Pieces of Me (recomendo muito que o visitem). O Miguel é um dos meus fashion bloggers preferidos aqui de Portugal e tem um trabalho belíssimo. ;)
Bem, se tiveres interesse neste pedacinho de mim, continue a ler...
Bem, se tiveres interesse neste pedacinho de mim, continue a ler...
Vergonha do próprio corpo, insatisfação com certas partes, isto podia ser menor ou maior... Aquela sensação de simplesmente não ser boa o suficiente... Quem nunca teve um pensamento assim? Eu já e muitos!
Nunca fui uma criança obesa e na maior parte da minha adolescência fui magra. Mas magra mesmo! Tudo me ficava bem! Era uma sensação muito boa! No entanto com o passar dos anos fui engordando, engordando, engordando... Muito pelos meus hábitos alimentares e também de métodos contraceptivos (usava injeções anticoncepcionais)... E para quem pensou que era sedentária, não, eu não era. Ia na academia quase todos os dias. Mas como eu gostaria de ser magra como era antes! Eu tinha esse foco na minha mente... Tive fases de controlar-me demais (quantidade de comida ingerida) e fases onde me entreguei à comida... Sim! Passei pelas duas experiências!
Na minha fase de querer ser sempre mais e mais magra, controlava a quantidade de comida (sempre queria comer menos) e pulava refeições (eu não jantava!). Mas só se eu me esfolasse a fazer exercícios todos os dias é que perdia algum peso... Uma vez chorei e fiquei muito triste e chateada por ter engordado... Hoje ao relembrar isso penso que estava mesmo escrava do controle... E aquela sensação de nunca estar magra o suficiente? Sempre senti isso todas as vezes que tirava a roupa e me olhava no espelho.
Já a minha fase de "entregar-me a comida" foi quando estive (ou quase) em depressão. A comida era o meu único prazer na vida, então era só junk Food que me deixava feliz: sorvetes, chocolates, fast food... Mas só me deixava feliz enquanto comia porque foi muito doloroso ver que as minhas roupas já estavam todas apertadas e que em pouco tempo ganhei muito peso.... Mais uma vez, fora de controle... Aqui eu já não ligava nada a minha aparência... Me deixei levar pelo vazio... Era um vazio enorme que só conseguia preencher com mais e mais comida...
O sermos escravos da nossa imagem é uma linha tênue... E é muito fácil (mais fácil do que imaginas) ultrapassar essa linha... Nas minhas duas experiências nunca estive satisfeita com o meu corpo (uma hora não me achava magra o suficiente e na outra simplesmente deixei de me preocupar com a minha aparência e me deixei levar)... Andei anos e anos a sonhar com o corpo perfeito e nunca atingi isso. Eu sou uma pessoa que gosta de ter sonhos, desafios e metas, mas hoje acredito estar, digamos "no caminho certo" para o equilíbrio entre o meu corpo e o que eu quero dele. A cada dia estou aprendendo a ser mais grata e a amar o meu corpo. É um exercício psicológico constante... Hoje o meu objetivo não é mais comer cada vez menos ou afogar minhas frustrações na comida (graças a Deus consegui superar isso), o meu objetivo é ter qualidade de vida , comer bem e da forma mais saudável possível(como até me sentir satisfeita, sem restrições calóricas) e pratico exercícios físicos, mas sem exageros. Hoje entendo que os resultados são pequeninos e diários... O superar-se a cada dia me fascina, mas desde que seja de uma forma equilibrada... Não vou mentir, mas ainda há dias que penso, "poxa parece que não vi resultado nenhum essa semana"... Mas aí paro, peço desculpa para mim mesma, me abraço e agradeço o que tenho... Como disse é um exercício psicológico constante... ;)
E é isso, por hoje... Este post é mais pessoal, digamos assim... Não estou acostumada a tê-los por aqui, por isso, contem-me se gostaram ou não, ok? Não pretendo fazer o blog um muro das lamentações, mas acho que de vez em quando partilharmos as nossas experiências menos glamourosas pode levar a ajudar outras pessoas... ;)
Cuidem-se bem minhas queridas e queridos!
Beijinhos
Mari
Hello!
Today I'm going to share with you my experience with "eating disorders". Perhaps, it's a very strong phrase, but I never had a good relationship with food... Who inspired me to do this post was our dear blogger Miguel from Pieces of Me (highly recommend). Miguel is one of my favourite fashion bloggers here in Portugal. ;)
Well, if you have interest in this little piece of me, keep reading.
Shame of my body, dissatisfaction with certain parts, this could be smaller or larger ... That feeling of simply not be good enough ... Who ever had a thought like that?
I wasn't an obese child and most of my adolescence I was thin. However over the years I have been getting fatter, fatter, fatter ... All through my eating habits and also of contraceptive methods (I used contraceptive injections)... And for those who thought I was sedentary, no, I was not. I was going to the gym almost every day. I wanted to be thin like I was before. I had this focus in my mind ... I had my "too much control phase" (food intake) and a "let it go" phase... Yes! I passed through these two experiences!
In my stage of wanting to always be more and more lean, I was controlling the amount of food (always wanted to eat less) and skipping meals (I do not have dinner!). But only if I had killed myself at the gym, I would lost some weight ... Once I cried and was very sad and upset for having gained weight ... What about that feeling of never being thin enough? I always felt like that.
At my stage of "let it go", I was (almost) in depression. The food was my only pleasure in life, so it was just junk food that made me happy: ice cream, chocolate, fast food ... but just made me happy while eating because it was so painful to see that my clothes were already tight... Again, out of control ... Here I no longer cared nothing about my appearance ...
The being slaves of our image is a fine line ... And it's very easy (easier than you think) exceed this line ... In my two experiences, I have never been satisfied with my body I am a person who likes to have dreams, challenges and goals, but today I believe is, say "on track" to balance my body and what I want it. Every day I am learning to be grateful and to love my body. It's a Constant Psychological Exercise ... Today my goal is not to eat less and less, or drown my frustrations in food (thank God I managed to overcome it), my goal is to have quality of life, eat well and healthier possible (as to feel satisfied without caloric restrictions). I practice exercises, but without exaggeration. Today I understand that the results are little and diaries ... I will not lie, but there are still days I think, "hey it seems I got no results this week "... But then I stop, I ask sorry to myself, as I have said, it is a constant psychological exercise ...;)
And that's it for today ... This post is more personal, so to speak ... I'm not used to having them here, so, tell me if you liked it or not, okay? I do not intend to transform my blog into a wall of lamentation, but I think from time to time share our less glamorous experiences can lead to help others ...;)
Take care of yourself my dear!
Kisses
Mari
Today I'm going to share with you my experience with "eating disorders". Perhaps, it's a very strong phrase, but I never had a good relationship with food... Who inspired me to do this post was our dear blogger Miguel from Pieces of Me (highly recommend). Miguel is one of my favourite fashion bloggers here in Portugal. ;)
Well, if you have interest in this little piece of me, keep reading.
Shame of my body, dissatisfaction with certain parts, this could be smaller or larger ... That feeling of simply not be good enough ... Who ever had a thought like that?
I wasn't an obese child and most of my adolescence I was thin. However over the years I have been getting fatter, fatter, fatter ... All through my eating habits and also of contraceptive methods (I used contraceptive injections)... And for those who thought I was sedentary, no, I was not. I was going to the gym almost every day. I wanted to be thin like I was before. I had this focus in my mind ... I had my "too much control phase" (food intake) and a "let it go" phase... Yes! I passed through these two experiences!
In my stage of wanting to always be more and more lean, I was controlling the amount of food (always wanted to eat less) and skipping meals (I do not have dinner!). But only if I had killed myself at the gym, I would lost some weight ... Once I cried and was very sad and upset for having gained weight ... What about that feeling of never being thin enough? I always felt like that.
At my stage of "let it go", I was (almost) in depression. The food was my only pleasure in life, so it was just junk food that made me happy: ice cream, chocolate, fast food ... but just made me happy while eating because it was so painful to see that my clothes were already tight... Again, out of control ... Here I no longer cared nothing about my appearance ...
The being slaves of our image is a fine line ... And it's very easy (easier than you think) exceed this line ... In my two experiences, I have never been satisfied with my body I am a person who likes to have dreams, challenges and goals, but today I believe is, say "on track" to balance my body and what I want it. Every day I am learning to be grateful and to love my body. It's a Constant Psychological Exercise ... Today my goal is not to eat less and less, or drown my frustrations in food (thank God I managed to overcome it), my goal is to have quality of life, eat well and healthier possible (as to feel satisfied without caloric restrictions). I practice exercises, but without exaggeration. Today I understand that the results are little and diaries ... I will not lie, but there are still days I think, "hey it seems I got no results this week "... But then I stop, I ask sorry to myself, as I have said, it is a constant psychological exercise ...;)
And that's it for today ... This post is more personal, so to speak ... I'm not used to having them here, so, tell me if you liked it or not, okay? I do not intend to transform my blog into a wall of lamentation, but I think from time to time share our less glamorous experiences can lead to help others ...;)
Take care of yourself my dear!
Kisses
Mari
