For many people boarding Canadian evacuation flights out of Israel, the relief at leaving behind a country at war was evident on their faces.   

But it was also obvious many were conflicted about wanting to stay and help. 

Most international airlines — including Air Canada — have now stopped flying out of Israel, so the Canadian government has organized evacuation flights that began Thursday from Ben Gurion airport near Tel Aviv. 

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Canada’s Ambassador to Israel, Lisa Stadelbaur, said the first government-sponsored flight left in the afternoon carrying 116 people and a second flight that departed Thursday night had roughly the same number.

Other Canadians left on private charter flights out of the northern city of Haifa that were arranged and paid for by members of Toronto’s Jewish community.  

Shirley Simon, a mother of nine- and seven-year-old boys, said she agonized over the decision to leave Israel, but decided the toll the war has already taken on her young family was too much.

“I’m leaving now because I realize this situation is causing a lot of mental health issues for myself and my children,” Simon told CBC News.

“They are seeing family members who are totally stressed out, who can’t communicate with them, and we just decided we have family in Canada, so we are going to leave,” she said.

Simon says her husband — who runs a building contracting business — is needed in Israel to complete work on several properties and to help with the country’s mobilization. But she felt splitting the family up was their only option.

“Nothing like this has ever happened and it scares you to your core,” she said. 

Many leaving wish they could stay

Tel Aviv resident Andrea Moscoe, 34, was also leaving her husband behind in Israel, but felt she had no choice as she had to escort her 67-year-old father back home to Toronto. He was visiting, but became stranded following the Hamas attack. 

Moscoe says her husband immediately volunteered with Israel’s military and is now serving on the country’s northern border with Lebanon, guarding doctors who work on a medical unit. 

“I’m beyond worried, I’m shaking at every moment,” she told CBC News. 

“I don’t want to be in Canada. I want to be here, just being there for my husband, and cheering him on and supporting and volunteering.

Tens of thousands of Israeli civilians have joined a nationwide effort to support the mobilization by donating food and equipment for troops. Thousands of Israelis who survived the attacks by Hamas militants are now also relying on help from volunteers.

Around southern Israel, collection centres have been set up to receive everything from shampoo and energy bars, to socks and underwear. 

“I know my husband in the last war, his feet got torn up and ripped, so I know he needs good socks. So we went and bought socks, black shirts and underwear. They need tampons, they need everything,” said Moscoe. 

Evacuees say they’ll struggle to return to normal life

Shai Wallach, 27, who works as an animator at a Vancouver media studio, came with her parents and boyfriend on a family visit to Israel just before the Hamas attack.

“At the end of the day, we’re safe. But our hearts hurt. And it’s genuinely very difficult,”  Wallach told CBC News.

In the days after the Hamas attack she also volunteered and provided support to other family members. She says she’s now struggling with the idea of returning to a normal life back in Vancouver, when so many people in Israel are unable to do that.

“I’m not in the military — I’m a complete civilian but I feel like a deserter,” Wallach said of her decision.

“I’ll probably cry a lot on the plane. I’m not going to cry now, but I will, for sure. I cried already earlier.

Leaving family like ‘a horror film’

Sarah Berry, 28, and Vladislav Yaskevich, 29, from Calgary managed to get on the second government flight Thursday night, but like Wallach, they say leaving family members in a war zone is deeply troubling.

“I honestly think of this as a horror film,” said Berry. “I just wish we could bring everyone back to safety with us.” 

The couple had flown into Israel for a wedding on Tuesday in the southern city of Ashkelon, which was cancelled in the aftermath of the Hamas attacks. 

Ashkelon, which is less than 20 kilometres from the Gaza Strip, is a frequent target of Hamas rockets, and air raid sirens sound several times a day.  

The Israeli military said more than 1,300 people, including 222 soldiers, were killed in the weekend attack in Israel. Israel says roughly 1,500 Hamas militants have been killed inside Israel, and that hundreds of the dead inside Gaza are Hamas members.

The death toll in Gaza rose to more than 1,400 Thursday, the Palestinian health ministry said, including 447 children.

Yaskevich said growing up in Ashkelon he had become used to dealing with missiles shot in from Gaza, but the intensity now is like nothing he has ever seen before.

“They are really something you have to experience for yourself to understand,” he said.