As we get older, things in our mind tend to move to become more straightforward and direct. The toughest part of accepting change is adjusting to it. Most of the time it sounds easier than usual but I have come to find that the hardest part is trying to accept faults in one self. We find it so easy to criticize others and analyse, gossip and find fault in other people. How many times have you actually said, 'Yes I need to improve my way of being and how I react to people'. Self analysis is probably the biggest and most important lesson we all need to learn to start doing.
Even as I say to try and be your Biggest Critic, it still doesn't mean that you need to keep analyzing yourself all the time. Its helpful to keep few things in mind.
1. DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF
Well, I have been on both sides of this. I also have seen friends who tend to beat themselves up for things. 'Oh, maybe I should have made more Effort for him and he wouldn't have left' or 'I didn't study hard enough and its always me who fails and it has to be me'. Being your biggest critic doesn't mean beating yourself up so badly, that you start hating everything about yourself. It is a balance, once you have identified the problem, DO SOMETHING about it. Not just analysis and then push so hard at yourself you get demotivated. Realize and find a Solution.
2. SOLUTION MODE
I am sure you have heard the saying, 'Out of the problem, and into the solution' So try to do just that. Over the years, I started making the 5 min rule for my issues. This meant, that I would probably discuss any issue or express it for 5 mins which gave me oppotunity to identify it. Then moved to the solution mode. What can I do to make sure this becomes easier process. This strategy i applied in my career mostly, so i started using the same idea for my personal life as well. Dont keep dwelling on the same issue repeatedly, get into solution mode. If you dont find a solution, google it, ask friends, go to someone you trust who can give you good advice.
3. NO ONE'S PERFECT
This is probably the toughest thing for us to understand. You are NOT perfect. We tend to look at our lives and compare it with others. I remember when I got active on social media, I would see all these fashion bloggers and wonder, it would be so cool to be travelling the way they do and see the world and attend all the fashion shows. Then i tried to understand that it literally is their job. We get caught up in the perfection of it all, but the constant travel, jet lag, being pretty all the time, trying to look content and happy and constantly being on schedules on mad travel and crazy attending arent things we all can do. I am sure it sounds fun, but the effort and work isnt easy. Then I realized its a lot of work and isnt easy to do. Its more peaceful t o appreciate what you have and work hard instead of constantly comparing your life to othes when you dont know their struggle.
4. BE HONEST
Its of no help to you or others if you don't admit if you have any issues. I have seen people including myself who refuse to analyse they have any issue and that the reason for all their problems is because of someone else rather than them. I always thought that I was hilarious. Seriously, that I can make anyone laugh and I'm great company. However, until the day that when my good friend said, "You are really funny and its great to have you around. But honestly, sometimes you can be insensitive and almost seems like you are making fun of us, rather than us having fun" I stopped that day the way I was communicating and then realized that the information I provided was to make others happy. But never considered that my humor might not be coming across the right way. It made me realise that I need to evaluate myself.
5. IF YOU DONT GO FOR IT, YOU HAVE TO BLAME YOURSELF
Often times, self criticism can limit us. It can become so limiting that we might even lose chances or opportunities to be able to live a higher and better lifestyle.
I dont have the skills to get that job.
I dont think I can be that strong to push myself to get that done.
I dont have the ability to convince him/her to make effort for me.
I dont think its my time to achieve this.
So many donts. Bottom line. Finding out what you need to work on is great. But give it a shot anyways. Realize what you need to work on make effort and then GO FOR IT. If you dont even try, you limit yourself. Test your limits, dont worry about people what they will say. Just do it. Go go for it now! :)
