Greetings, Darlings! A very, very long time, no Unicorn, for which I am truly sorry. I'd love to give you a wonderful reason for my conspicuous absence, but the truth is I was ashamed. I did not so much 'fall off the wagon', as the phrase goes, but stampeded off the proverbial cliff at full gallop. Darlings, when Unicorns fall, we fall hard.

I've been hiding my face in shame for a long while, but at long last I return. I stalled for the longest time hoping some miraculous spurt of fitness and health would fall upon me out of the sky, allowing me to come back to you triumphantly slim and well.

(That didn't happen, by the way.)
Read more »