Brock Boeser is going to the 2018 ASG to the surprise of no one who knows who he is.

As you most likely saw yesterday, the NHL released the All Star Rosters, and the Canucks will be represented by Brock Boeser. There’s two things that I think need to be discussed here. First, it should be noted that exactly none of Clayton Keller, Matthew Barzal, or any other rookie is going, so Brock should be a good guy and send them a postcard. Second, shame on every single Twitter account who mailed it in with Smashmouth-themed tweets about Boeser (and any other player named to the ASG). It’s your fault this abomination won’t die. Stop it.

Now, let’s take a look at the latest news, shall we?

3rd Last!- Thanks to an Ottawa win over the Leafs last night, the Canucks are now in 29th place, 9 points ahead of Buffalo and a dozen in front of the last place Arizona Coyotes. So is everyone still happy with how things are going? Not really...

No Defence- As the Canucks continue to struggle to score, most notably from the rearguards, it makes you once again question Jim Benning’s ability to run this team when you know that Philip Holm is playing so well in Utica. He scored his 7th of the season last night in a 5-1 Comets win over Laval. The Canucks have gotten 8 goals from defencemen this year. Here’s a breakdown of the win last night (and it should be also noted that Patrick Wiercioch had two assists but hey, Guddy’s not gonna trade himself, so...)

Don’t Panik, The Future Is Duclair- In the latest edition of “Would Teams Please Stop Helping The Chicago Blackhawks Weasel Out Of Their Cap Issues”, the Arizona Coyotes sent Anthony Duclair and Adam Clendening (remember him? Thanks, Jimbo) for Richard Panik and Laurent Dauphin.

Winds Of Change Blowing In Carolina- The Hurricanes have a new owner, and with it hope that he might actually, oh... I don’t know, give a shit about the product on the ice and the fans that have suffered through their brutal run since winning the Stanley Cup all those years ago. I’m happy to see them with new ownership, as nothing is worse than a franchise being run as an investment or a tax write-off with no care as to actually winning.

The Vegas (Insert New Team Name Here) are on fire!- They are without a doubt the story of the season, and for all of their on-ice accomplishments, it’s really starting to look like they’re going to make history off ice as well. The US Army has filed a copyright infringement suit, and are pushing ahead with it (along with The College Of Saint Rose). If they win, and the team is forced to change it’s name, it’s another black eye for Gary Bettman, who’s already looking bad over the NHL’s non-participation in the upcoming 2018 Winter Olympics. Speaking of which, Hockey Canada will be announcing the roster for Team Canada at a press conference at 9 am Pacific, and we will be posting it here in the thread for you. Expect a lot of former Canucks to be there (what up, Mason Raymond?).

Non-Game Day Battle Hymn

I realize it’s been a while since I did my part to keep you updated on the latest in music you probably hate, so to make amends, I have a rager for ya today. The Crown are one of Sweden’s most underrated death metal acts, but they’ve long been a staple in my playlists. Their new album ‘Cobra Speed Venom’ is out in March on Metal Blade, and if it’s anything like the first video this album is going to be deadly.