If you keep circling back around to the same problems in your relationships, you need to learn how to break these Painful Relationship Patterns. Cancel These Three Painful Relationship Patterns Before They Get Started Often when someone feels wronged by their partner they demand “payment” for the pain they feel unjustly inflicted upon them. History proves they will argue until this well-established pattern completes itself. Unable to resolve who’s to blame for the pain, one or the other will either storm off to brood over the mistreatment or decide that “retreat” is the better part of valor and make some kind of peace offering, perhaps an apology. In the long run, neither of these “solutions” makes any real difference. Their suffering passes into the night, but not the unseen reasons for it. For our love to thrive, everything about this kind of pain-driven pattern must be shattered. Acting from any part of this old pattern – while hoping for a new result – is like polishing old shoes that no longer fit, hoping the shine will change how they feel when you put them on! Following are three simple examples of such futile actions:   Painful Relationship Pattern #1: Avoiding the Issue by “Agreeing to Disagree” Near the “end” of a disagreement with your partner that has no end in sight one might say: “Let’s agree to disagree.” Now, maybe this technique has some benefit if you’re at a party and a political discussion turns nasty. But what happens with our partner when, because of something they’ve done, or refuse to do – there’s a conflict between us – where we want them to agree that the problem at hand is their fault, but that’s not how they see it? The fallback pattern of “agreeing to disagree” does nothing to...

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