by Marcia Naomi Berger   “Marriages are forms of super friendship” –John F. Helliwell, Senior Fellow of the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research   Best Marriages: Friendship Is Key for Lasting Happiness Some of the best marriages begin with love at first sight. Usually, but not always, they fail after the initial buzz wears off. Others begin with a friendship that grows into love. This kind of Marriage is more likely to succeed in the long run. [1] Love at first sight is based largely on fantasy and romantic longings. Don’t get me wrong – I love romance. It’s just that it’s not the main ingredient for an everyday fulfilling, lasting marriage. Romance is more like a condiment; it’s there to spice things up. Spice is nice…very nice! But it’s there to enhance what already is nourishing. If friendship is lacking in a marriage, romance and attraction won’t last or the relationship won’t be satisfying overall. What qualities do you value in a good friend? Are you drawn to someone with similar values who supports, respects, and understands you? A trustworthy person with whom you enjoy talking, laughing, and just hanging out?   Best Marriages, with Happiness and Stability Ample research confirms that friendship is the main ingredient for a lasting, fulfilling relationship. When the British Household Panel Survey asked people about their closest friend, half of them said it was their spouse. For those who called their partner their best friend, the benefits of marriage were about twice as great as for those who didn’t. [2] Researcher John F. Helliwell states that happiness in marriage “has less to do with your social status or financial stability, and more to do with sharing wedding bands with your BFF.”[3] A 13-year longitudinal study by Tom Huston at the University of Texas...

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