As a teenager and in my early twenties I was the archetypal ‘wild child’. Rebellion was my only true friend and we clung onto one another for dear life. I was a defiant, mutinous individual who was angry at the world and herself and there was no way I was ever going to take the advice of another, whether it was right or wrong.
I remember in one of my many office jobs, my manager was perpetually wringing his hands in mild desperation at my ungovernable ways. I just couldn’t help it and more importantly didn’t want to. He used to say: “I was the most unmanageable person he had ever managed!” He meant it as a compliment because I challenged him in a good way and he often had no idea what to do with me or how to handle me. I was never a rude, aggressive or a thoughtless employee – I was a great team player and being kind and respectful is important to me – but yes I do find it difficult with imposed rules, especially if I see no sense or benefit in them. I was and always have danced to the beat of my own drum. Being an ‘only child’ meant it was a lone path that was formed in my honour and one that I didn’t question. I trundled along it with gusto, happy to be master of my own destiny.
Rebellion is often romanticized to the point of exhaustion. And sometimes we believe that it is relegated to the few artistic individuals who have forged their own path out in the world amassing wonderful success and notoriety but that it’s not for the ‘normal folk’. We will just vicariously live through others fancy footwork and hopefully just gaze wistfully at the trail they have left behind. We often wish we could be braver and bolder in our lives to break out of that self-imposed casing. Society tries to make us all the same so that it can govern us, manipulate and enforce the views of the few in power onto the perceptive vision of the ungovernable among us. Little do they know we don’t acquiesce easily.
There is a dark and a light side to rebellion. To a Rebel any form of restriction can feel hellishly like being plunged into a straitjacket. Even things that we know are good for us can feel imposed, like life is pinching off our life force at the source. There is often a huge gulf between discipline and rebellion. It’s either one or the other. But really is it that simple. Can’t we be both? Can’t we be disciplined and rebellious? I’ve never understood why we can’t straddle both polarities. Why are people so desperate to put us on an index card and file us away? Why can’t we be a polite rebel? Or a kind-hearted raging Rock chick, or a glamorous spiritual healer with a penchant for pink stripper shoes! There are so many possibilities and variations. We are so much more than others would have us believe.
We all have a collection of different parts or characters within us that are waiting for the right music to bust out their moves and express themselves.
Like many of us, throughout my whole life people have tried to define me, to put me in a box and shut the lid tight. Any contradictions were met with hostility or blinkered disregard, or sharp and stony envy. The amount of times I’ve heard the phrase: “Well that’s not very spiritual”. As if I should be levitating out of my stripper shoes, fingers positioned in a mudra, sipping fermented yaks milk, whilst reciting Rumi on a loop. It’s so amusing and also irritating to have such a slim set of parameters set by others about how or how not we should be.
And also this can automatically trigger the Rebel. We have the ‘middle finger’ constantly poised in our mind’s eye at such damnable limitations! What an offence to the very fabric of our existence – we think. And the rebel goes “oh who gives a fuck anyway, they are the limited ones”. Of course the ego often loves the rebel because the rebel is often tainted with a history of alienation, innate disappointment in others and abandonment issues. The rebel has perpetually been misunderstood and thrown brutally against the margins of society. It can be a messy default setting that sets us further apart from life and others. This is not a life enhancing form of rebellion, doing things because we feel unconnected to ourselves or others. I know I spent a large proportion of my life feeling misunderstood and on the sidelines of life, operating from a deviant perception of the world around me. The beliefs that taught me that I was not acceptable or that I was too much for the world I lived in. This is not an enriching set of guidelines to outline our character by, or paint our lives with.
How do we make a conscious Rebel? Or make the Rebel conscious? Make her mindful and thoughtful – yet thought provoking – and above all how do we make her work for us? We were all born equal but not all of us are on an equal footing, due to lack of consciousness, muddled belief and thinking systems, unprocessed and unresolved past matters that still run riot in our mental corridors. I believe to make anything work for us it must come out of the cellar and stand on the same flooring as us. We have to be conscious and aware of its motives and the plan it has for us. And the two must coalesce.
How do we step out of the confined margins inked by others? It’s not about achieving some desired external greatness but about achieving some desired internal greatness because that’s available to all of us, no matter who we are, where we’ve been and where we come from.
If there are situations or things we need to do that we are not doing, for example giving up bad habits, or staying in situations that are one dimensional and that are not life enhancing or self-love promoting, then our inner rebel is self-sabotaging us or she’s gone deep undercover and we might need to become a detective to smoke her out.
Sometimes we have to go into the muddy waters and bring her up from the depths. And sometimes we have to dampen her fierce, biting diatribes that urge us to leave others behind and stomp off into the sunset, smarting and alone. We have to know when and where she will be best suited. If we let her the Rebel is intensely and exquisitely loyal, she will stand by us no matter what. She will raise the dead if we will only let her. She will forge ahead even when we are reluctant, fearful or doubtful. Being a rebel doesn’t mean we will be devoid of fear, but that we can use that fear as fodder to propel us where we need to go. That little bit of extra Duracell fuel to keep all the plates spinning and the markers of our life wider and more expansive.
The world needs rebels. We need the right mix of rebels. The conscious Rebels have a finely tuned bullshit detector, they know where to put their energy and that not every situation or person is worth investing their time and energy into. They are discerning, wildly instinctual and they guard their creativity with the fervour of a rabid dog. The conscious Rebel has high standards and puts every heart cell into their soul art. Conscious Rebels bulldoze through boundaries and overcoming personal limitations is paramount to achieving forward movement. Everyone can embody the Rebels energy to use as we see fit and that is in congruence with our values and beliefs. It need not be dramatic and explosive – it can be a slight and subtle shift towards wholeness. Even small moments of choosing not to allow others to define us or diminish us can bring a surge of power in our lives. It’s often the small details that slowly build into a bigger pool of dominion.
The Rebel likes to say no but what some don’t realise is that she also likes to say yes. She likes to engage with life, to be present and vital, keeping her reserves fully polished, at the starting block for when we might need to sprint, the added stamina to pursue a goal without flagging or giving up. She also likes to have fun, to dance in life’s rhythm but with her own notes and orchestral arrangement. She is also kind, thoughtful and yes, even polite. A rebel can have manners too – she doesn’t have to club people over the head with her views and opinions, or only maybe once in a while!! She can talk with confidence on what she believes in and if others don’t believe the same it does not threaten her own sense of value.
I love my rebel and I wouldn’t be without her but sometimes I need to keep her in check. The Rebel needs a certain amount of order, even if she hates it. I can’t achieve anything in a maelstrom of chaos. The trick is to work together in synchronicity, neither one dominates the other. I realise when she is acting up that I need to take time to understand her motives and what she needs from me. What will keep her happy and therefore keep me happy. Sometimes the inner rebel is beyond tired, she just wants to kick back her heels and sit on her bum and recharge and when I let her she will often tell me how much she needed that and then she’s off into the next realm of personal revolution that is cultivating inside me.
Sometimes the rebellious spirit does have to stand alone, tending to the gravitational pulls inside of her but she is not lonely, this is just what needs to be done. The work is done alone and we can re-group with others to share around the metaphorical campfire our stories about overcoming our struggles, understanding ourselves and opening our hearts.
Osho once said that creativity is the greatest rebellion in history. So I urge you to stoke those creative fires and keep a light under those dreams. The ones that speak of a desire to make the world a better place, to spread light into every corner and especially where it is needed most. Our world needs conscious rebels of all kinds, shapes, colours and sounds. Don’t mute the Rebel, she has some interesting truths to tell you if you are brave enough to listen without judgment and then follow through with her precise wisdom. Feed her, water her, keep her warm and above all keep her curious, we don’t stay curious by doing the same things over and over, we stay curious by leaving our comfort zones and setting the world alight with our creative fires. Even if people don’t like us or what we do, they don’t get to define us. It’s our choice. We get to decide who we want to be and what we want to bring to the world, no matter how small we feel our contributions might be.
We were all born original so don’t let society turn us into a photocopy.
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