On my quest to stay happy I am finding that balance between all that we are is the key. 
To accept the ugly part of our beauty, the idiot aspects of our smartness, our goodness and our faults.
Our Feminine and Masculine qualities are also in need to be balanced, but I find that sometimes we reject one side of us.
We all can imagine men that reject the feminine, caring, emotional aspect of themselves, especially the older generation. But I talked to many women who are trying to avoid to be feminine, as they think of it as weak or not valuable.
There is no way around it. It is important to work with our Inner- Queen and King energies in order to live our most authentic, Goddessa self. We need a Circle to remember what it is, how fun and brilliant it is to be embracing femaleness.

We, women, who live in a ‘western’ culture find themselves immersed in a world that nourishes our Inner-King. Most of us are still running around chasing achievement in the external world, which is beautiful, but it’s full of masculine qualities. We forget what is it to be in our true feminine power. Many of us struggle even with basic things like the feeling we don’t have the right to exist on this planet as a woman, as a creator, or even as a mother. I know that pain, very well.
We have developed a love/hate relationship to womanhood and in some extreme cases a desperate desire to stay a girl. Being in touch with the collective feminine and our own inner Queen is sometimes too painful. It requires raising our consciousness and having a daily healing practice.

The rewards of the feminine

But the rewards are enormous for those daring to connect to its deepness: Discovering ways to be a good mother, connecting to our inner guidance for relationships, honoring the female sexuality, enjoying our body and experiencing an abundance of creativity and joy.

The best part? The presence of feeling love and self-love.
This is why it is called Goddessa Happiness, it is divine.

All women reach a point at some stage in their life where the need and desire to honor the inner Queen arises. We need to allow her to lead us to a life of peace, manifestation wholeness.
Having a healthy marriage between our Inner King and Queen is just the next step to “live, lead and love like a Happy Goddessa”.
It is the cherry on the cake.

My journey with my Inner King and Queen

It was back when I was working with my women circle quite intensively that I began to understand our Inner Queen and King I Being immersed in the feminine realm made my Inner Queen happy and content. But my Inner King wanted to break away from the soft confinement of the Circle to explore the freedom of the hard Line.

I felt two contrasting forces.

On one hand, I wanted to go deeper into the depth of womanhood (and believe me it’s endlessly deep). And on the other hand, I didn’t want to stay in this deepness, I wanted to emerge to the sunny surface and not feel everything so deeply.

For years I swung between feeling extroverted and introverted, between being commercial and nonprofit,  of being too much HER or too much HIM. Sometimes my inner King ruled my actions and sometimes my inner Queen was setting the tone. I explored and dove into our feminine abstract subconscious world and would then run away back to the factual linear rational world. I was switching constantly between being in the Circle and going outside, in, out, in out, in out.

My inner king and queen could not find a way to lead my life together, they were fighting constantly.
For many years and with the birth of both of my kids and the challenge of raising my girl and my boy that are different as my own queen and king are, I thought I found the balance.

When I founded the Centre of Fertile Ground Studio in 2009, the Queen and the King had their place. I painted a huge, white circle on the red wall of the studio for projecting films and images.
I didn’t notice the meaning until a visiting shaman from Ecuador said, “Look, the circle and the color red are the feminine and the square and the color white are of the masculine, both are present in perfect balance”.

That space was warm and was a real fertile ground for people to grow, to express, to heal and meet others. It was wonderful, and many successful experiments happened there.  

Balance is not a constant

After some years I lost the balance again and failed to make the concept sustainable so I choose to close it. You see the thing is, balance as a thing in itself cannot be constant. Like nature herself, we are in a constant dance, adapting our rhythm to the song that is life.

In the years that followed it’s closure, I have been focusing all of my communication creative work through the internet. The freedom, the international connections, the possibilities, are all so exciting, and powerful!  

But lately, I have felt my Inner Queen calling for more nourishment. On my birthday this year, I challenged myself to have my Inner Queen and inner King living more harmoniously before my next birthday.
Now, I have realized that in order to do that, I have to change my professional plan.

To have a successful marriage between my Inner-Queen and Inner-King, I need to integrate.
When I asked myself the question How Do I stay happy? I realized that creating via a  laptop is only half the fun and I desperately missed working physically with people.
In short: I need the online events and live events to feel truly whole.

I, you, we, need both sides of polarity:
We need the mother and the father to be happy and healthy.
We need the intuitive, subconscious mind and the analytical conscious mind to be wise.
We need our internal world and the external world to feel alive and do well.
We need the Circle of connectedness and the freedom of the Line to thrive.
We need our Inner King and Inner Queen to be empowered and collaborating with each other.

As I am once again guided by both of my Inner Queen and King, I am opening the channels for my online teachings and events AND my local, physical,  live events.
I believe I can do both, slowly. I’m listening to both sides, I create with my right and left hand.
I walk with right and left leg, step by step,  hoping that I can integrate a new way of BEing by my next birthday.

My next step

I am very excited to be starting a Happy Goddessa Voice Meetup. I think of it as a woman’s circle with a voice, but it will include a balanced King/Queen energy.

The Happy Goddessa Guide Includes all that I created, learned, and experienced in the last 20 years and it is based on the journey of finding the balance between all that we are.

Integrating our shadows and our light.
Integrating our external voice (king)and the internal voices(queen).
Integrating the feminine and the masculine, matter and non-matter. 
Integrating the intuitive and the analytical mind and seeing that everything has a place in big life circle.

We all deserve to be all that we are born to be.
We all deserve to be heard and enjoy the power we have to experience happiness.
We all deserve to take part in raising consciousness and love on our planet.
We all deserve to fulfill our life purpose and fully activate ourselves as Creators.

We need you to bring your unique voice and we need each other to come together in truth and voice.

And that is the next chapter of my personal journey.

An Invitation

For those of us living in the Netherlands, I would like to invite you to my monthly meetups.

The Happy Goddessa Voice Meetup is based on The Happy Goddessa Guide

Kick-a#@’ creative personal development and spiritual growth for women. In these regular meetups, we will empower our VOICE using exercises like voice activation, speaking games, body awareness, writing and singing to help activate our personal power – our inner Goddessa!

We will create a sacred space and focused environment, infused with joy and playfulness, to support each other on our journey to becoming more of who we are.  Together, we will inspire and facilitate the Goddessa ability within us all: To be seen and heard in this world. To reveal our shining selves!

When: Wednesday 18 October 2017 from 19.30 – 22.00

October Theme: Opening our heart and voice to each other.

Location: State of Play studio, Plantage Doklaan 8, Amsterdam

Get your Place HERE

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