'Hey, babe!'
'...'
'Oh, that's OK. I'm fine!! Thank you for asking!'
'Look, I don't have to deal with this sarcasm, OK? The world doesn't revolve around you! Everybody is fighting a battle you know nothing of.'
'Are you saying that because it's what you're going through or is it an actual generalization?'
'Both! I'm not ashamed to say I suffer. Last night, I cried properly for a few minutes. The first time in years. I felt like crap but I was glad I did it. I've got a lot of uncried tears in me, a couple of years worth. I know if I took the time out to release just that, I'd probably be out a couple of weeks, just focusing on crying and letting it all out.'
'... and what then?'
'I'd probly be incredibly elated and have a lot of weight taken off my chest. I'd be light as a feather... happy... profoundly humbled.'

'What made you cry in the first place,... cry baby?'
'Funny,... I thanked God for a miracle. I've been livin' through a few ordeals lately and they've been knocking me the eff out. So I'm just grateful I made it through it. I almost died yesterday as well. The pr*ck moto rider I was with saw a car turning to us and he didn't react until I screamed and the van almost hit us. When I paid him later, the bastard still asked for more. I walked away because I wasn't gonna go to jail for beating him up.'
'Is that what made you cry?'
'... no, I cried because God has been with me when no one was. Yesterday was just another example of how the devil wants to kill me and claim my soul. You can be coy if you want to. I don't expect a silver spoon child to know anything about the miracle of being alive and being grateful for it.'
'Screw you, I took a gap year in Tanzania and lived in some tribal village with people living in mudhuts and what not. I've got enough street cred to know I'm not a p*ss like you.'
'I'm a p*ss? I grew up in Lagos until I was 21. I've been tried to be killed several times and have lived through several riots. I'm more hood than you're able to imagine. So no, mami - screw you!'
'OK, OK, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I take it back.'
'You need to consider the world is really not the way you think it is as only. There are a lot of people who suffer, who have nothing and are despised by people like you, society. We don't complain, though. We soldier through. And we just have to look each other in our eyes to know what we're about. That's why we don't mess with each other. We keep a distance between us when we approach each other. That's street cred... the ish that won't get you killed! Not a soft, rich kid chick who watches America's Next Top Model, listens to Nicki Minaj and says Brap! because she thinks she's gangsta.'
'... you know what? F*ck you!! I apologized and that really hurt me!' Kim pushes him to the side and runs crying to her bedroom.



'F*ck!', LeBron whispers as he follows her but is locked out.
He knocks gently on her door.
'Look, baby, I'm sorry, I didn't... I didn't mean all that. I was just... I'm goin' through a difficult time right now, you know. My grandma is sick, she's been ill for a couple of weeks and she's really old and I don't want her to die. I don't even know her as well as my cousins do but I love her anyway. It's not easy, you know? I guess I just lashed out at you. I'm sorry!!'
Moments later, Kim opens the bedroom door, mascara smudged across her cheeks from all the crying.
'So you're going through problems? I'm so sorry! I'm a little pissed off 'cause I just came from the doctor and have been diagnosed with lupus. You know what that means? It means my immune system randomly attacks my body in different organs and there's not a damn thing I can do about that. It's not curable, it just gets worse. But oh, I'm sorry for hurting your sensitive ass, pathetic feelings as always, drama queen! I know it must be so hard to be laughed at by whoever and have your feelings hurt... poor you!!'
'OK, first of all, you didn't tell me anything.'
'I DON'T HAVE TO, YOU B*STARD! I'M F*CKING DYING!!!'
'OK, OK, I'm sorry! Seriously... you're right!'
She gets tears in her eyes again. LeBron hugs her and she resumes crying.



'Let's just blank this. I forget about everyone who attacks me because they're inferior of me and you accept the fact that every day we're all dying and you have to make the best of every day that's given to you.'
Rubbing her nose, leaving his embrace, she goes, 'Agreed!' and rubs her eyes.
'... look, we're both f*cked! But we have each other. Let's make the best of it... f*ck the world!'
'...mkay... let's do it.'
'Wanna go shopping?'
'You serious... shopping??'


'Yeah! We won't go out, we'll go online. There's this deal I saw on HeHe. It's a large, landscape wooden frame from Digitec. It'll look awesome with us. We could even book a photoshoot with them and look proper dapper, like models.'
'We are! Just 'cause we didn't go into modelling, doesn't mean we're not grade A model material. We are.'
'... true, babe... so true!'
They kiss, go to her laptop and type HeHe's link into the browser.



- Kim Carrdasheeyann
Top Chef, Hell's Canteen, Kigali

- LeBron Jaymz
Captain, 1st Men's Basketball Team, Kigali