I need something in my life that brings me joy. Something to motivate and inspire me,something to lift me up and let me stretch my wings and fly. But perhaps I should say someone rather than something -I’m one of those people that Whilst I’m happy to be alone, I only feel pleasure when it comes from an external source. I can’t Love myself unless I am loved by another. I love and care about my partner but we aren’t connecting and certainly aren’t inspiring one another, rather making each other miserable.

But what is it that I want.

Do I want a relationship? a friendship? a filthy sexual fantasy? a muse? or something else I’ve not yet thought of.

I want to feel some joy and I want to feel wanted.

There’s a part of me that wants a sub. Someone who loves me enough to allow me to take control, that places their pleasure in my hands and turn it into my own. If I were to be a dom then I think it would need to be with a man.

whilst I find myself sexually enticed by both genders I don’t have any inkling of wanting to dominate a Woman, unless I was part of a couple (male/female) to dominate a single woman.

However when it comes to wanting intimacy, friendship, cuddling, loving, and being sensual with – that’s when I see myself with a woman.

For straight up, dirty fucking, fuck buddies I totally want a man. Whilst I love the thought of pleasing a woman, when it comes down to brass tacks – I need rock hard cock and sadly silicone or even steel (you know I love you Eleven) just can’t quite cut it.

Is the answer to find both a man and a woman? Could I have that?

A woman to satisfy, to please, to fill that need for a human connection and the sensual side of life and a man to fulfil my cock hungry cunt.

Honestly I don’t know, but I’m sure there’s at least one group on fetlife for women that want to have their cake and eat it too.