Black sexuality: it is a complex social term that is often vexing due to the paradoxes one might discover when examining the Nature of it.

How do we define Black sexuality when race is a social construction and gender is socially conceived as a bipolar dichotomy? Let’s consult the Oxford English Dictionary to narrow down what this means.

Bipolar:

ADJECTIVE

1Having or relating to two poles or extremities.

‘a sharply bipolar division of affluent and underclass’

Dichotomy:

NOUN

1usually in singular A division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different.

‘a rigid dichotomy between science and mysticism’

Sex, as defined by the white supremacist, patriarchal Society we call “America”—is often associated with the construct of the binary, i.e. like the similarities and differences between black/white, good/evil, peace/conflict, construction/destruction, and the list goes on and on and on because this is how we’ve come to see and understand our world now. We must remain steadfast in seeking to understand this construction and whether this perception of the binary is the ultimate reality or an illusion borne from our lack of knowledge and liberal thought. Not liberal in a political sense but liberal as in being open to explore, discuss, and possibly accept new patterns of consciousness.

Black/white are similar because they are both colors but different in their spectrum of light and idealistic connotations.

Good/Evil are similar in that they both describe manifestations of energy – usually in accordance with positivity and negativity – but they are different in how they serve or impact their environments.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Now, starting with the notion of the male and female genders, which we know by now is traditionally associated with man and woman, respectively. Anyone who steps outside of this social standard – like those who identify as being a part of the LGBTQ community —  is looked upon with astounding difference or an “otherness” that constantly penetrates their social and cultural identity.

Male/female are similar because they both represent biological sexuality. They are different in nature – i.e. female egg/male sperm, male XY/ female XX, male yang/female yin, etc.

Man/Woman are similar because they both describe human gender associations. They are supposedly different in nature – i.e. father sun/mother earth, men mars/women venus, man provider/woman nurturer, man husband/woman wife, etc.

We define sex according to these bipolar dichotomies – into stagnant associative categories that neither blend nor cross each other’s lines. It is a man’s nature to defend and provide for this family. It is the woman’s nature to make a house into a home and nurture the family. The man supposedly has the power while the woman submits.

Now, let’s examine this notion in relation to sexuality.

The man penetrates, while the woman….inserts? I don’t know. What the hell is the opposite word for penetration? Well, you know what I mean. If you don’t, then just imagine sliding a hotdog into a bun.

The man does the pumping and the woman does the grinding of her hips in synchronicity. The male is supposedly the aggressive one while the female relents. Yet again, the man dominates and the woman submits. He fucks, and she gets fucked.

Oh, and we must not forget the most significant aspect: it’s supposed to be a woman/man having sex.

This is how our society conventionally defines sexual activity, according to heterosexual, patriarchal norms.  If we revisit the fact that we live in a white supremacist society – and we know white supremacy is inherently Eurocentric – then it is safe to say, that how we conventionally define our sexual identities and activities is also inherently Eurocentric.

Each cultural society has its own understanding of sexuality. What I’ve just described is the American [mis]understanding of what sex ought to be – even though we all know it’s a fucking sham, a fallacy that virtually nobody actually adheres to, except when they’re being fragile and idealistic.

We cannot discuss Black sexuality without discussing Eurocentric “Americanized” sexuality. Why? Because we’re black Americans, and we were forced to build upon the American soil while simultaneously being expected to wholly assimilate to European beliefs, culture, and values.

Somewhere along the way, we lost our own sexual identities. Black women were raped and bore mulatto children. Black women were forced to be mistresses to their slave masters. Black men were raped. Black men were degraded to be “studs,” transported from plantation to plantation to have sex with female slaves and conceive children, i.e. new slaves. Black men were forced to have sex with their white mistresses. Black men and women were forced to have sex with each other while the white master(s) or mistress(es) watched.

***This is knowledge I have acquired over years of studying the Black experience in America. All this information has been documented in a wide array of slave narratives or uncovered by avid researchers who cared enough to sift through recorded interviews of former slaves and write publications about it. The information is out there, if you want it. Search online for books or visit your local/school library to find out more.

When it comes to sex, we are often perceived as “other” to the privileged masses – leaving the notion of black sexuality wide open to be defined or labelled by anyone without discretion. The point is: slavery and the resulting oppression of our culture and values has created a warped idea of black sexuality. We are still dissecting and exploring the black identity. We are still in the process of rediscovering who we are and collectively deciding what it means to be black – especially, what it means to be a black and free.

We are collectively rising from the dust, and many of us are grappling with the true notion of who we are and who we need or desire to be.

As we proceed upon this journey towards liberation, we cannot exclude the significance of black sexuality in defining the black identity.

Chattel slavery has ended. We are no longer being forced to assimilate to Eurocentric notions of sexuality, or otherwise. We own our bodies. We own our minds. Whatever we decide to do with them, however we decide to use them – regardless of what society says – is completely up to us.

Your identity is defined by you, not society. Your sexuality is yours.

Black people, it is now up to us to decide what black sexuality means.

That is the fundamental reason for the creation of this blog.

You may use this blog as a platform to share your comments, ideas, and opinions about black sexuality– even your stories, poems, and testimonies. Please feel free to email [email protected] about featuring an original blog post. We look forward to hearing from you!

Thanks for reading! You are loved and appreciated.

Stay tuned for the next story. Coming soon!