I have been busier that normal the last few days. I am not sure what exactly it is that I have been doing, but I always seem to not have enough time in a day. This going to bed early thing really has me in a bind. See, I am most definitely a night person. I have, however, been working the 700 am shift at work and it is lame let me tell you. I go to work everyday and I am bombarded gossip and slander and all the worst things that come out of peoples mouths. Man...My tongue has been working overtime lately too. I find myself so upset with everyone at work. It is like, every single thing that someone does that I don't like, I just get so Angry at the person. I am pretty sure that the problem lies in my inability to confront people when I feel that I have been wronged in someway, then it just builds up and builds up. Anyways...By the end of the day I am feeling so guilty and angry with myself that I go home and feel sorry for myself and treat my family with less respect than they deserve, which just makes me feel worse and thus it adds to the problem. I am in a vicious cycle and I don't seem to be moving any closer to God in the whole mess.

So this brings me to a place where I have to make a decision. Will I continue to allow this downward spiral and not really do anything to improve my situation, or will I give it over to God. Man doesn't it sound easy when you read it or write it down, but just think...' how in the world do you actually give it over to God', cause seriously, I am in the dark on this one. I would definitely consider myself to be someone who seeks God in my life, but I have been battling with this question as long as I have been able to cognitively consider these issues. So, I guess my questions is, how do I turn it around, who knows how and why haven't I heard about it yet. Everyone talks about giving it over to God, growing closer to God, God being such a huge part of their life. Well, when is someone going to tell me HOW...How do you get there and what am I doing wrong.

I really want to love the girls at work. I want to be happy and not bitter and angry. I really want to be able to stand there and tell them that I am not comfortable talking%2