And read this and read this and read this until you Fully Understand and realise this is the way life works.

You are what you think:
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought; it is founded on our thoughts; it is made up of our thoughts." Thus said Buddha. And it therefore follows that if a person is happy, it is because they dwell in happy thoughts; if miserable, because they dwell in despondent and debilitating thoughts.
Whether one be fearful or fearless, foolish or wise, troubled or serene, within that soul lies the cause of its own state or states, and never without.
And now I hear a chours of voices exclaim, "But do you really mean to say that outward circumstances do not affect our minds?" I do not say that, but I say this, and know it to be an infallible truth, that circumstances can only affect you insofar as you allow them to do so..... Excerpt from; As a Man Thinketh by James Allen.

Untill you fully understand, realise think and act accordingly life will be as it has always been, no matter how many books you read, how many services you attend or how many counselors and seminars you go to. You will not be able to change your life for the better.