This is a repost of a darshan from March 25, 2005.

Today is Good Friday. There was a time my children would just sit in Meditation and I didn’t come out on Good Friday.  I was doing my pujas in my own solitude.

This whole week has the essence of Christ. It is not only for Christians to understand the Agony of the gods.  It is for all peoples to know that when you can’t come toward the god or the Goddess, you become very tight.

So we take this day to remind us that there is so much pain out there. The world is in a place of such agony that it rips out the Heart of all the teachers, the holy people, the swamis, of everyone.

I get letters from all over the world asking, “Where does one begin?”  You begin in this moment.  Sometimes it hurts to be in the moment, especially when you’re locked into that place of the desire to be right.  That’s such a painful space to be in.  It’s like black daggers coming at your very center and they create holes in your being, leaking pride – and gratitude is lost in the fog of the mind.

I want you to understand the Passion in my heart. No matter how cruel life was I always had joy because I had found passion for God and for Goddess.

If you don’t have that passion—which you all do—but if you don’t awaken that passion inside of your chest and your physical body, a hard crust forms.  When love finally reaches out and goes deep within the rhythm of your physical heart and the spiritual heart, it hurts because the wounds are so deep.

To go into liberation is not getting hit with lightning.  It’s simply becoming aware that you are loved, no matter what.
When that happens, your whole being sings out praises simply because you are alive; there’s a magic that happens. And the magic doesn’t stop. The magic goes on and on and on. The second that you can say “I am loved,” with only 50% belief, then you know you have that magic inside of you.

So you are not escaping life by going deeply into meditation, but you are renewing your ability to feel your soul in order to live life fully.

With all my love
Ma Jaya
Kashi Ashram