When we fall in Love,  we start admiring the loved one. We fall in in love of his everything. The things he does, the way he laughs, or talks everything is so peculiar and catalyst to raise the feeling of love. That’s the power of the love, it multiplies itself when it exist.

He kept his promise. His words bear the value and have the assurance. He is a man of his words. He was still kind to me and took care of me as if I am the most precious thing for him in this universe. Who would not like to be treated that way? Well, he had always been treating me that way, that’s why I was able to sense his love besides revolting him for his exceedingly irritating dose of daily physical intimacy. I knew he loved me, but was confused whether it was love for me or my body only. His love for me was the only reason for me to not to get separated. Love is hard to find and very precious thing, and I value it.

With his this new “Avtaar”, he became a more loving and appealing gentleman. Now his first priority was to keep me happy and to make sure whatever memories we gather in these final days ouf us being together become the golden memories of life time. His soft and kind nature slowly made me realize how wrong I was to blame him for this “bodily love”. There was no sex involved in these 3-4 months but his love for me kept nourishing and growing leaps and bounds. There were no doubts left that it was I and only I who was the only thing for him, which matters to him in his life.  Sometimes, it made me think, how can one be so selfless in love or is that kind of love possible on this earth in contemporary technological era? Was it all a mirage or some kind of dream which is going to break soon? Well… probably that was the case.  Gods are too jealous to let pure love remain intact for a long time, because it turns everything divine.  They start conspiring to find different ways to separate the lovers. In our case, they did not have to do much for that, except for wait for few more weeks. We were destined to get separated soon. The only thing that could have been worrying the Gods, was his strong love for me, and my inability to survive as an individual in his ocean of limitless love for me. I started losing my individuality when I was with him.

Gosh ! Love is the ultimate power, but it is hard to find. It is everywhere, and with all, but mostly we don’t let it flow freely or in right direction.

July 1st, when I reached home, I was not the same person anymore. We humans are typically habitual of taking things for granted when these are made easily accessible to us. We tend to not to recognize their proper value in our life till the time these things are available to us and we start regretting for those when these are snatched away from us. Same thing happened with me. When I was with him, I appreciated his love and his company. I did love him. But I could not realize how deeply he and his love have impacted me. I could not figure out what would it be to live a single day without him now. I knew it would be painful initially but had no idea that it will become a hell which I won’t be able to survive.

All the way in the train on my way back home, my eyes kept moistening itself. Reason, I could not understand. I am a man, a matured man. Why would I cry? And then we agreed that we would see each other at least once a month. Why should I cry? But somehow I felt emptied. I felt hollow. I felt as I was leaving behind the most fulfilling and precious thing of my life for nothing. I was a loser. I was able to feel his hands holding my hands before I boarded the coach and he walked away a few steps when the train started. I felt his hands drifting apart and leaving my hands when the train caught up the speed. He turned back his face probably he did not want to show his moist eyes but quickly came back to see me again. Probably he also did not want to miss seeing me in last few moments.

His face when he saw me leaving, and his hands leaving my hands were not easy to ignore. I surely was a loser.  I understood that it was my academic career and I had to go back to resume my studies but for what? There was no aim of life left for me. There were no hopes or a reason to live without him.

(To be Continued…)