We’re deep into January, with Valentine’s Day on the horizon. Do you have time to find a lover before that day?! Do I?! Do you already have one, and desire nothing more than to shove your happiness in my face?!? No, I joke. What a fun bunch of activities I’ve found this week for you to prepare your assault on singles, you hypothetical emotional assaulter of single people!

Fri 19: Kellogg’s NYC Café Grand Opening

31 E 17th St, 8:00 AM – 6:00 PM, Whatever you Spend on Yumyums
You’ve probably heard about this, but maybe you need a push in the oats to actually get out there and start having fun: there’s a cereal cafe now, and you can geek out over all your favorite grains right here in NYC!

Fri 19: Winter Party 2018

Verso Books, 20 Jay St, Suite 1010, Brooklyn, 6:30 PM – 10:00 PM, Recommended $10-$40 Donation

Do you like partying? Do you like supporting left-wing STEM workers repressed under the era of Trump? As they exclaim on their site, “Come for the door prizes and specials on food & drinks – stay for the left-wing engineers, tech workers, climate researchers, & neuroscientists!”

Sat 20: 2018 Women’s March on NYC

Central Park West & 72nd, 11:00 AM – 3:00 PM, Free
It’s that time again! I’ll be marching with Planned Parenthood (and my best friend), but I won’t judge you based on whom you march with. Just march.

Sat 20: Eraserhead with live score by Black Lodge

Film Noir Cinema, 122 Meserole Ave, Brooklyn, 9:00 PM – 11:00 PM, $20
Eraserhead may well be the creepiest movie I have ever seen. You can count on it being even creepier with live music. Bring popcorn and someone whose arm you can squeeze.

Sun 21: Boozy Brunch & Clothing Swap

Lucky, 168 Avenue B, 1:00 PM – 4:00 PM, Whatever you Buy + Free Clothes!
I just went to a fabulous clothing swap where I got an excellent purple shiny backpack, and I’m already mentally planning my next one. Grab a bagel, have a drink, and clean out that closet!

Sun 21: Arrested Development Trivia

Videology Bar & Cinema, 308 Bedford Ave, Brooklyn, 8:00 PM – 10:00 PM, Free
I’m terrible at trivia, but I’m amazing at loving Arrested Development. Test your knowledge and compete for awesome prizes!

Mon 22: Life Drawing At The Silent Barn

The Silent Barn, 603 Bushwick Ave., Brooklyn, 8:00 PM – 11:00 PM, $7 – $10
Grab a drink and sketch a live model! The Silent Barn is an awesome community of artists, so you can count on a convivial atmosphere.

Weds 24: Selected Shorts: Love, Laughter, and Vodka with Anton Chekhov

Selected Shorts, 2537 Broadway, 7:30 PM – 10:00 PM, $50
Rainn Wilson is a delight and prize of humanity, and he is but a star in the constellation of wonder that this night promises. Enjoy Checkhov with a lovely glass of vodka, as the Russian intended.