The poll is closed and we have some very interesting responses. Not too black and white after all. Not all the "yes" that adultery is a deal breaker came from the women. Not all the "no's" either. The majority said it depends. Some of the women polled said it depended if it was only for sex. That would not be a deal breaker. Others said it depended if children were involved. Some women stated that if the relationship was relatively new then "yes", if it occurred within a seasoned relationship then "no".
One man stated that once the trust is gone so is the relationship. He was the "cheatee" rather than the cheater. He said he tried to make it work, keep the family unit intact, but he couldn't get past the fact the trust in the relationship was lost forever.
Another man who answered "depends" said there are worse things that can happen than cheating on your spouse - forgive and move on. However, he stated, if it involved deeper emotions he would walk away not wanting to stand in the way.
50 years ago a cross cultural study was done and less than 39% of societies approved of infidelity in any form. It seems as though men's extra-marital affairs are condoned more than women's because of the perception that women are men's sexual possession.
In Mediterranean cultures men are identified by their relationships to women. An adulterous spouse would cause great shame to the male. It seems as though a woman's response to infidelity is determined by personal and social contexts whereas a man's is generally universal.
Both sexes regard infidelity with the same amount of disdain, it is how they react to it that may differ. Studies show that women try to resolve these issues privately. Her reaction to infidelity depends on how great the threat to her partnership whereas a man is more likely to seek termination.
Women are more prone to gossip, eliciting support of their community while men refrain from making this indiscretion public. They are more prone to handle it with violence.
Despite how each sex deals with infidelity, there is no double standard in how it is viewed by each sex. Studies also show that men are more likely to seek divorce if their mate is adulterous than a women would be (Shakleford 1998).
So, why do people cheat? Lack of appreciation? Lack of communication? Lack of excitement and spontaneity? Or is it just for sex? I imagine the answer to that depends on whom you poll.
Male vs Female Brain
We already assume that our brains are built differently but there is scientific proof that a man's "sexual pursuit" portion of the brain is two and a half times larger than a woman's. Conversely, women have a larger empathetic portion of the brain. Women pick up on emotional cues easier than men.
Another biological difference is that a man's brain is programmed to mate repetitively while a woman's brain is programmed to look for reliability and security in a mate before she has sex. These studies were cited in Dr. Louann Brizendine's article "Love, sex and the male brain".
Regardless of why each sex may cheat, it seems as though the reaction to the cheating is the same. There is no Double Standard when it comes to Adultery.
Now that we have wrapped up 'A' let's move on to 'B'.
'B' is for Body Image
I will never forget an article I ready from the man's point of view. He stated that a woman with a "swimsuit model figure" who covers herself with a sheet after making love is not nearly as sexy as a slightly plump woman who walks in the buff with confidence. So what is it with body image and the sexes? Why are we all killing ourselves at the gym or spending ridiculous amounts of money having Botox done or more invasive procedures?
This is the age of plastic surgery! Men are getting pec implants while others are getting breast reductions. Women are having liposuction while others are having butt implants. We are knocking ourselves out with hair plugs, cheek implants, breast augmentations, tummy tucks, the list goes on.
But does it really make us sexier? Does it really make a difference to the opposite sex?
We want to hear from you. Give us your comments and opinions. Don't be shy!
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-500803_162-6173985-500803.html
One man stated that once the trust is gone so is the relationship. He was the "cheatee" rather than the cheater. He said he tried to make it work, keep the family unit intact, but he couldn't get past the fact the trust in the relationship was lost forever.
Another man who answered "depends" said there are worse things that can happen than cheating on your spouse - forgive and move on. However, he stated, if it involved deeper emotions he would walk away not wanting to stand in the way.
50 years ago a cross cultural study was done and less than 39% of societies approved of infidelity in any form. It seems as though men's extra-marital affairs are condoned more than women's because of the perception that women are men's sexual possession.
In Mediterranean cultures men are identified by their relationships to women. An adulterous spouse would cause great shame to the male. It seems as though a woman's response to infidelity is determined by personal and social contexts whereas a man's is generally universal.
Both sexes regard infidelity with the same amount of disdain, it is how they react to it that may differ. Studies show that women try to resolve these issues privately. Her reaction to infidelity depends on how great the threat to her partnership whereas a man is more likely to seek termination.
Women are more prone to gossip, eliciting support of their community while men refrain from making this indiscretion public. They are more prone to handle it with violence.
Despite how each sex deals with infidelity, there is no double standard in how it is viewed by each sex. Studies also show that men are more likely to seek divorce if their mate is adulterous than a women would be (Shakleford 1998).
So, why do people cheat? Lack of appreciation? Lack of communication? Lack of excitement and spontaneity? Or is it just for sex? I imagine the answer to that depends on whom you poll.
Male vs Female Brain
We already assume that our brains are built differently but there is scientific proof that a man's "sexual pursuit" portion of the brain is two and a half times larger than a woman's. Conversely, women have a larger empathetic portion of the brain. Women pick up on emotional cues easier than men.
Another biological difference is that a man's brain is programmed to mate repetitively while a woman's brain is programmed to look for reliability and security in a mate before she has sex. These studies were cited in Dr. Louann Brizendine's article "Love, sex and the male brain".
Regardless of why each sex may cheat, it seems as though the reaction to the cheating is the same. There is no Double Standard when it comes to Adultery.
Now that we have wrapped up 'A' let's move on to 'B'.
'B' is for Body Image
I will never forget an article I ready from the man's point of view. He stated that a woman with a "swimsuit model figure" who covers herself with a sheet after making love is not nearly as sexy as a slightly plump woman who walks in the buff with confidence. So what is it with body image and the sexes? Why are we all killing ourselves at the gym or spending ridiculous amounts of money having Botox done or more invasive procedures?
This is the age of plastic surgery! Men are getting pec implants while others are getting breast reductions. Women are having liposuction while others are having butt implants. We are knocking ourselves out with hair plugs, cheek implants, breast augmentations, tummy tucks, the list goes on.
But does it really make us sexier? Does it really make a difference to the opposite sex?
We want to hear from you. Give us your comments and opinions. Don't be shy!
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-500803_162-6173985-500803.html
