(6) STAY IN TOUCH WITH ONE ANOTHER'S WORLD.
A potentially good marriage can be ruined when the couple show a marked disinterest in one another's areas of interest. What we do daily is so much linked to who we are that a better understanding of them can lead to greater appreciation of our innate values as individuals.
All healthy couples device ways of discovering and learning more about the activities and leisure that give joy to their mates. Find out what your mate love to do and celebrate it with him or her. Learn more about his or her hobbies, reading preferences, duties at the local church,sporting preferences, etc. If you desire marital joy and cohesion, start today to rediscover all the above. Stay connected with one another's world. In no time, you will find greater pleasure in your relationship.
(7) MAINTAIN BALANCE IN TIME COMMITMENTS.
Some husbands are so glued to their work that they hardly have time for their wives and children. They come back home late every night with official files tucked under their arms. Others jet from one corner of the globe to another in their search for money and business. And yet a greater number sit behind their television sets all day watching the news or enjoying the latest soaps. I have also encountered husbands that continually complain about their wives penchant attitude to the things of the spirit. Others are addicted to committee meetings, church programs, women's club meetings and fellowship groups. Oftentimes, these women lack the time to properly cater to the needs of their children. They can neither cook the meals nor clean their homes. They lack the discipline of properly allocating time to their activities.
Healthy marriages don't just drop from the sky. It is a conscious outworking of God through the instrumentality of couples who made themselves available for his use. Healthy marriages are built and nurtured through couples that are willing to take one another into consideration while planning their daily activities. Start today to allocate time to activities that will include your mate. What about weekend trips together, marriage seminars, picnics, and visiting friends together. As a couple, please learn to be creative with your time.
(8) RELATE ONLY WITH WHOLESOME FRIENDS.
According to a renowned counselor, Dr Les Carter, ''Humans have an uncanny way of taking on the traits and attitudes of their closest associates. It is like learning a speaking accent. We do not intend to talk in a regional accent, yet when exposed to a dialect daily, it is learned.'''
In the same manner, many of us do not intentionally set out to become thieves, armed robbers, fornicators, adulterers, prostitutes and drug addicts, but when we associate with those who manifest the above character flaws, they naturally rub off on us.
The Scripture says in Prov.13:20 and 27:17,
"He that walks with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friends."
Always watch out for the type of friends you keep, or the type of people that are found around your spouse. Are they men and women of easy virtue; lazy bones and spiritually polluted souls who think only of evil, gossip about people, abuse their bodies and live ugly lifestyles? Or are they surrounded by great minds whose visions and goals inspire love and courage in others? In the company of wholesome friends who experience and share true love and peace in their own individual lives, great visions and dreams are birthed and actualized.
The Scripture says in Heb.10:24,
"And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together as the manner of some is, but exhorting one another...."
(9) ALWAYS DWELL ON YOUR STRENGTH, NOT YOUR WEAKNESSES
As a spouse, your most important duty is to discover and appreciate the positive sides of your relationship. Cheerfully acknowledge it always and your marriage will never know a better yesterday. Though times may be difficult, though conflicts may arise, though businesses may fail and jobs may be lost, though accidents may occur and limbs may be lost; always remind yourself that your marriage is a ministry where God has decided to use your strengths for his glory.
Learn to always compliment one another. It holds a marriage together even when areas of difficult exist. When there are sufficient memories of joyful sentiments, you can weather the worst storms. Learn to love like true lovers. True love is not contingent upon a mate's behavior, but rather upon the couple's yielded hearts to God. When love is tied to performance, wealth or fame, it's value is easily eroded. True love is therefore built upon commitment. All healthy marriages thrive on these virtues.
(10)ANCHOR YOUR MARRIAGE ON GOD AND HIS STANDARD.
Finally brethren, always anchor your marriage on God's eternal foundation. He is the master builder, the ever wakeful watchman, the captain with untainted records. Only him can take away all the stress off your marriage. Events that can take the normal everyday couple to the divorce courts is easily resolved in bedroom jokes and laughter. The Sun of righteousness is present to heal the cracks in your relationship before it poses a threat to you.
The Scripture says in Prov.24:4,5.
"Through wisdom is a house built, and by understanding it is established, and by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with precious and pleasant riches."
Who is the source of wisdom, understanding and knowledge? In Isaiah 11:2, he is revealed as the Holy Spirit. You therefore need the divine presence of the Holy Spirit in your life, marriage and family in order to actualize the vision of God for your home. As you meditate on these, I exhort you to be a doer of all you have learnt on this blog. Be blessed in the Lord our God.
