10. What did the clock do after it ate?
It went back four seconds.

9. How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.

8. How many great men were born in New York City?
None, just little babies.

7. How do you make a rock float?
Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.

6. What’s the worst thing your wife can say during sex?
“Honey, I’m home!”

5. What’s the difference between Roast Beef and pea soup? Anybody can roast beef.

4. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It’s not hard.

3. What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

2. Did you hear about the guy with the invisible penis?
He came out of nowhere.

1. 1. Why does Donald Trump sleep with a tub of hummus?
Because there’s nothing he LOVES MORE than having a chickpea in his bed.
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.