| Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains? Kings Crustacean |
Show man and entrepreneur Billy Butlins opened his Bognor Regis resort in 1932, looking to repeat the success of the formula he began five years previous at the Lincolnshire coastal town of Skegness.
Bognor is one of only three surviving Butlins resorts and commands a superior vantage point on the Sussex town's sea shore. The resort has undergone many changes over the years, none more so than the £45 million revamp in 1998 when the Skyline concept, their tented entertainment centre, was born.
Would we be in for some good old fashioned seaside fun? Let's find out!
.. imagine the surprise when our door was flung open and another family marched in
| Why do seagulls fly over sea? Because, if they fly over the bay, they would he be bagels. |
We arrived nice and early at 330pm and after checking in made our way to our Apartment. A quick unpack and we set out to explore the park and have dinner. Later that evening, as we relaxed in our apartment, imagine the surprise when our door was flung open and another family marched in!
A confusing but amicable conversation followed, it transpired that that we had entered the wrong apartment, ours was actually the one above. The door lock mechanism was faulty, so it felt like we were locking and unlocking with our key card, but it wasn't actually locking properly. So with an offer of help from understanding Butlins staff, we repacked and moved upstairs.
Not the most auspicious of starts, but on with the review. I'm giving marks for Location, Cleanliness, Comfort, Staff and Overall:
Location
Butlins sits on the sea front a short walk from Bognor Regis an hour's drive from Brighton and Portsmouth. During the bank holiday weekend the roads to the south coast are extremely busy, so arrive early.
Score: 8/10
Cleanliness
The Seaside Apartments are new and I could not fault their cleanliness. Every piece of cutlery and crockery was sparkling, as was the microwave and oven.
Score: 10/10
Comfort
| What's grey, has four legs and a trunk? A mouse on his holidays. |
Well equipped modern kitchen, picnic style dining table, colourful corner sofa, patio doors leading on to decking (bottom apartment.) Comfortable double and twin beds.
But that's where the good stuff ends.
Because of Butlin's late night bars and night club, our neighbours returned to their apartment at 2am, full of alcohol and holiday joy. What followed was an hour of kicking doors and arguments before they eventually passed out at 3am. I know that not every guest behaves in this manner, but alcohol and families with young children do not mix.
Sure, we could have complained to the staff, or had a quiet word with our neighbours in the morning. But we have to sleep next to these people. So we cut our break short by one day.
Score: 5/10
Staff
Check-in was efficient and I couldn't fault any others we came across, and that includes those that helped sort out our mix up with the apartments.
Score: 10/10
Overall
Comfortable Seaside Apartments, great location, efficient staff and lots to see and do across the site, including free funfair and live entertainment.
However, I will not be playing 'Drunk Guest Roulette' another time. It's a shame but Butlins, your late-night drinking policy and young kiddies does not mix. You may have lost us forever.
Score: 5/10
| The mean streets of Bognor |
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