I’ve now completed 2 Nct Sessions (out of 6) and, to me, they are hilarious. They are informative and I’m not at all saying we aren’t enjoying them or learning a lot, but I didn’t realise that it was just going to be a birthing pool of out and out humor.
I think it’s a combination of factors that makes it so funny:
Firstly the people. When we first walked in it was clear that Kim was the youngest. It was surprising really, she’s 28 now and I thought out of the other 6 couples there, there would be other women around the same age give as it’s every-ones first child, but they were older - seemingly - and had an air of wealth which me and Kim aren’t accustomed too or comfortable with really. It was a bit disheartening at first to get that impression, more so for Kim than for me as all I want out of these meetings is for someone for her to meet up with when I go back to work. Nothing hilarious so far, but before long people were coming out with all kinds of mental questions - it was quickly apparent that no matter how much money you have, when it comes down to being pregnant, everyone feels the same and has the same worries and concerns. Which was reassuring. Firstly we split into groups of men and women. The men had to write down what benefits/disadvantages their wife being pregnant had created for them. Once the obvious jokes and innuendos of “She’s can drive me home from the pub” and “we don’t have sex any more...and that’s a benefit Mhaw Mhaw mhawww” were out the way, we were stuck. What benefits has it created? I wrote down something spectacularly stupid and said that it’s helped me related to females in the office? what was I thinking? That was my first attempt to try and prove to a group of strange men than I’m capable of rational thought...and ruined it. I even spelt “females’ wrong, so all in all it was a screw up and I should of just put down “means more wine for me to drink mhaw mhaw mhawww”. For the rest of the session we discussed what we had written and rather than concentrate I just sat and cursed myself for attempting mild humor. I should of gone the whole hog and wrote down a benefit as “I find stretched skin a turn on” or a disadvantage as “Kim wont fit into the sex harness above the bed any more” - though I probably would of spelt harness wrong. Like I say, two classes down and 4 to go and I’m not sure if I will ever fit in with the “Burton Menswear Brigade” (that I’ve dubbed them), but I’m not that concerned. I still find it comical to watch how people interact with others in situations like this and how some try and dominate a room with a bravado that would make James Cordan cringe.
Then there is the literature that get’s passed around. This is a comedy gold mine. We got handed out diagrams of different Birthing Position - some one has to be having a laugh with them somewhere. Out of context they look grossly inappropriate and in-context they look disturbing at best.
Here are some of the birthing position pictures that were kindly distributed:
1)
In this one it looks like the gravity of the room has been turned off or like the expectant mother has walked on the set of that Jamiroquai video. This is also the closest picture to activity portrayed in the exorcist and if I saw either taking place I’ll have cast some holy water in her general direction.
2)
Not ‘entirely’ sure what’s happening in the left hand picture. It seems an inappropriate time to kiss let alone ‘that’. Still...if you are in the mood..and it's going to help. The picture on the right...she looks like she is being blindfolded before being electrocuted in water.
3)
This has clearly been downloaded from a XXX website, removed of all detail and given a bump to de-adult orientate it. I think I might even recognise the very clip from the haircuts. ...I wont link too it.
4)
....repeat - “Blowing out during contraction can help”. What’s not clear is where you are meant to blow from, or who indeed is meant to do the blowing? should I be blowing “on it” ? I might give it ago if I find myself getting board?
So there we are - two NCT sessions in and going strong!
I think it’s a combination of factors that makes it so funny:
Firstly the people. When we first walked in it was clear that Kim was the youngest. It was surprising really, she’s 28 now and I thought out of the other 6 couples there, there would be other women around the same age give as it’s every-ones first child, but they were older - seemingly - and had an air of wealth which me and Kim aren’t accustomed too or comfortable with really. It was a bit disheartening at first to get that impression, more so for Kim than for me as all I want out of these meetings is for someone for her to meet up with when I go back to work. Nothing hilarious so far, but before long people were coming out with all kinds of mental questions - it was quickly apparent that no matter how much money you have, when it comes down to being pregnant, everyone feels the same and has the same worries and concerns. Which was reassuring. Firstly we split into groups of men and women. The men had to write down what benefits/disadvantages their wife being pregnant had created for them. Once the obvious jokes and innuendos of “She’s can drive me home from the pub” and “we don’t have sex any more...and that’s a benefit Mhaw Mhaw mhawww” were out the way, we were stuck. What benefits has it created? I wrote down something spectacularly stupid and said that it’s helped me related to females in the office? what was I thinking? That was my first attempt to try and prove to a group of strange men than I’m capable of rational thought...and ruined it. I even spelt “females’ wrong, so all in all it was a screw up and I should of just put down “means more wine for me to drink mhaw mhaw mhawww”. For the rest of the session we discussed what we had written and rather than concentrate I just sat and cursed myself for attempting mild humor. I should of gone the whole hog and wrote down a benefit as “I find stretched skin a turn on” or a disadvantage as “Kim wont fit into the sex harness above the bed any more” - though I probably would of spelt harness wrong. Like I say, two classes down and 4 to go and I’m not sure if I will ever fit in with the “Burton Menswear Brigade” (that I’ve dubbed them), but I’m not that concerned. I still find it comical to watch how people interact with others in situations like this and how some try and dominate a room with a bravado that would make James Cordan cringe.
Then there is the literature that get’s passed around. This is a comedy gold mine. We got handed out diagrams of different Birthing Position - some one has to be having a laugh with them somewhere. Out of context they look grossly inappropriate and in-context they look disturbing at best.
Here are some of the birthing position pictures that were kindly distributed:
1)
In this one it looks like the gravity of the room has been turned off or like the expectant mother has walked on the set of that Jamiroquai video. This is also the closest picture to activity portrayed in the exorcist and if I saw either taking place I’ll have cast some holy water in her general direction.
2)
Not ‘entirely’ sure what’s happening in the left hand picture. It seems an inappropriate time to kiss let alone ‘that’. Still...if you are in the mood..and it's going to help. The picture on the right...she looks like she is being blindfolded before being electrocuted in water.
3)
This has clearly been downloaded from a XXX website, removed of all detail and given a bump to de-adult orientate it. I think I might even recognise the very clip from the haircuts. ...I wont link too it.
4)
....repeat - “Blowing out during contraction can help”. What’s not clear is where you are meant to blow from, or who indeed is meant to do the blowing? should I be blowing “on it” ? I might give it ago if I find myself getting board?
So there we are - two NCT sessions in and going strong!
