As I sit here on the eve of my fourth sons 1st birthday party I am reminiscing about one year ago. I had a booked c-section for June 19th at 10am. We spent the weekend with Family, spending as much quality time as a family of 5 as we could. Katie came over to my house the night before to make my hair look nice…because it was a booked a c-section I could plan to go in looking pretty instead of the hot mess like the other two deliveries. We all cuddled in bed that night, took a million selfies and talked about what was going to happen in the next couple days…and beyond. I was a nervous wreck but I was sure not to show it. We had to be at the hospital for 8am (2 hours before) so we were up at 6, last minute packing and prepping, get the kids up and take them to Mom and Dads so Dad could take them to school. Mom came with us, our official photographer and personal cheerleader. As we drove down the highway making small talk, my heart beating a tad to fast, we saw Ashley (my best friend) driving to work and we all waved crazily at her. That helped my nerves. A few good luck texts from my sister and others and we were there. parking, gathering our bags and walking in. I went through the necessary stuff and got in my gown and waited…we talked and joked and waited. Shortly after 10 we were ready to go! I forgot Nick had to wait outside until my epidural was done so I was by myself…well there was a bunch of nurses but essentially by myself. I was freaking out. I was pretty sure I was going to puke or pass out. (I did neither) I was just starting to lose it when Nick walked in, finally, my knight in shining armour…my heart slowed down abit. Lay down, curtain up.

The thing about a scheduled c-section is it’s not a surprise. so you aren’t crazy drugged up and tired of pushing for hours. So I felt with it, awake and much too aware. I felt them moving me, shifting my insides and the pressure. They warn you about the pressure and its a real thing! Again, I was starting to freak out, I needed it to be over. It hurt but not really because I was frozen from the chest down. I thought I was going to throw up. kept telling the nurse. (I did throw up with mason, on Nick I might add) Finally the pressure releases and after what felt like an eternity I hear a cry. all the weight in the world was lifted from my shoulders in that instant. my emotions were high and I couldn’t help but shed a few happy tears (just a few, I’m not a crier) They popped him up over the curtain to show me then whisked him away to bundle him up. I remember looking at Nick, the way we had after each of our boys were born, like phew we did it, he’s here. 10 fingers 10 toes, perfect little faces. They brought him over and i got to see him and awkwardly try and ‘hold’ him….I was still strapped to the table so it was more so Nick mashing our faces together. Then Nick took him away to see Granny and I laid there getting stitched up. You forget that part. that you don’t get to have a baby and thats it. There is still another 30 minutes of laying on a table alone with your thoughts.

After being in recovery for a couple hours I got my private room (always a private room) I felt great and I could not wait for my three boys to meet their baby brother! Don’t get me wrong the good drugs wore off after day one and I was hurting but day one was perfect. This was the first day we were a Complete Family. Phoenix, Declan and Mason were over the moon and so were we! We were now a complete family of 6!