We have all either hear about or experienced the dreaded tantrum stage in early childhood. As  a Parent, you deal with a whole lot of feelings on a daily basis right? When tantrums arise, a parent can feel defeated and add to the chaos by yelling or dismissing your child’s feelings which can make it harder for both the child and parent.

Understanding why tantrums occur can help you support your Children through them and make it a more empowering experience for you both. The more preceived control and support young children recieve from parents when they are overwhelmed with frustration will actually encourage cooperation, effecive communication and active listening skills. Validating your little one’s emotions will also strengthen trust and build your relationship.

When your child outbreaks in a tantrum, it is important for yourself to breathe and move forward to speak wisely and thoughtfully to set enforcable limits for young children. It is an effecting parenting strategy using love and logic. Some young children are still unable to communicate by using words, alternatively, they use their bodies and their voices-the less they are heard, the louder they will get. Reassure your child that you are listening and you hear the message they are trying to send you. They really are just in need of some empathy and understanding. Crying is okay. It is a healthy and natural way for children to let out their emotions, don’t force them to stop, simply let it take its course. You can help your child self-regulate by showing them you can be trusted with their problems and feelings. Being dismissive can be detrimental to their emotional health and take a toll on their self-confidence.

Empathy is one of the greatest gifts we can give to our children. Listen and paraphrase to help them label their emotions and enrich their sense of self.

Here are some calming words you can use to help your child through a tantrum, to increase their emotional intelligence and practice self-regulation:

1. I am here for you.

2. I am listening.

3. I hear you.

4. It’s okay to feel angry/frustrated/sad…

5. I know this is hard for you, let me help.

6. Tell me how you feel.

7. I believe in you.

8. Let’s get through this together.

9. Thank you for sharing your feelings with me.

10. You can trust me, I want to help you.