Making Choices

Me: (over dinner) It’s getting late. You can either take a bath and no TV, or take a shower and watch TV.
Boy: I want both.
Me: You have to choose.
Him: I don’t wanna choose.
Me: (putting down fork and leaning in) One day, you’ll wonder what life is all about. It’s this: Being alive means making choices. Only things that are alive can make choices; it’s what defines life.
Gymgirl: (laughing) I should write a book called, Logan discusses philosophy with toddlers.

The boy is getting bigger and smarter – he can count to 40 and can read about 70 words. And he’s always the happiest kid in the room.

I keep wondering what life for him would be like if Alison was still here. I don’t doubt it would be better, what I do wonder is if I’m doing a good enough job on my own – even with the help of the Gymgirl, Alison’s parents, my sister, and my mom.

It’s almost Christmas. So everything is simultaneously bright and dark. I’m trying to choose the former when I can but it’s never quite so easy.

Still, I’m here because I serve a purpose. I’ll stay until that purpose is over.

The requirement that one must choose is one of the taxes we gotta pay for being alright.

Me: (picking up fork and shrugging) Life is making choices. The sooner he learns this, the better off he’ll be.

Location: in an argument
Mood: sad
Music: oh, we’ll be a sight to see, back in the high life again
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