In a week when the skies above Blogger Towers took on an apocalyptic, reddish-orange hue, my thoughts turned to climate change. Astonishingly, according to some Swedish scientists, an unexpected contributor to the emission of greenhouse gases, particularly methane and nitrous oxide, are shellfish who seem to trump away with gay abandon. The scientists calculate that the shellfish contribute about 10 per cent of the greenhouse gases released in the Baltic Sea region, the equivalent to a herd of 20,000 flatulent cows. I’m sure they are not covered by the Paris Climate Accord.

How much damage will be done to the atmosphere by three Japanese Performance Artists, Reno Amhara, Miu Anemi and Meru Iroha, who are reviving the art of the professional flatulist,is a matter of some conjecture. They have just announced that they will be putting on a show called “Let’s All hear Beautiful Girls Fart Together” in Tokyo, promising various styles of fart produced whilst the girls wear a variety of costumes. It brings to mind some pictures of He-gassen competitions I saw at the British Museum a few years ago.

Before you get too excited, the promoters warn that “depending on their physical condition, it may be impossible for them to fart no matter how hard they try.” Perhaps before each show, they should post a list of what they have eaten so that punters can make an assessment as to whether it is worth parting with their hard-earned cash.

The promoters are hoping for many repeat performances and that the show will run and run. I’m not so sure. Perhaps they should have some shellfish on standby!

Filed under: Humour, News Tagged: He-gassen, Japanese performance artists to put on farting show, Meru Iroha, Miu Anemi, Paris Climate accord, professional flatulist, Reno Amhara, shellfish contribute to greenhouse gas emission, strange skies over south east England