I wish just once I could say it out loud. Scream it from the roof tops - without wincing first or scoffing last.
I wish one day I could say it with conviction. Know it to be true - believe it in my heart.
Just once I'd love to speak it with my whole heart and a big goofy grin - without feeling like a fool.
Just once I'd love to not efface it with derision or dread how it will end - refuse to heed wisdom.
Rush headlong into it with joy and abandon,
Not caring the result or consequence.
To leave behind my hesitation, my wariness. My weariness.
To feel light-hearted again, just once. Like I did so many years ago.
To believe again. Just once.
That day will never come, for
One day, it will go.