Proof yet again that I need to leave my apartment the chaotic mess that it is and move downstairs into my office…

Tonight my restless diggings and rearranging have turned up no less than 4 pairs of the infamous “skinny” jeans that we women hang on to in the vain hopes of ever fitting our fat asses into again. They have also turned up no less than 6 lovely shirts that my chest alone has outgrown. Looking down at the train wreck that has become my waistline, I suppressed a sob and tucked everything into the cedar chest. They will remain there until I have to give them to Ahib the tentmaker so that he will have enough material to finish my new clothing.

I’ve decided to take the “Special K Challenge” with my friend Barbara. She has incentive. She’s going to Zurich in May. Me, I’ll still be sitting here on my fat ass pretending to be a writer and calling my weekly forays to Wal Mart mini-vacations. The most challenging part of this “Special K Challenge” is restraining myself from devouring my mouse pad because I’m starving to death. Two bowls of cereal and a Lean Cuisine a day does not a filling diet make.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go drink some diet soda and suck on sugarless calorie free candy and try to trick my stomach into believing that it’s sustaining nourishment.