Let’s just say I’m a woman of diverse interests. While North Korea rattles sabers and missiles and Hawaii issues warnings over brain-invading parasites otherwise known as rat lungworm disease, I have other issues to investigate. An e-mail comes into my inbox, I know not why:

A spring sale on Coolsculpting, you know, the process by which fat is literally frozen subcutaneously by destroying fat cells which then disappear and are eliminated from the Body over the course of ranging from a couple of weeks to a couple of months. Hmmm… I have a few pesky areas… actually, they could probably put my entire body into deep freeze… which leads me on a research project of my own.

Namely, I take a look at websites claiming two different, low-cost approaches to Coolsculpting alternatives: one is lowering the thermostat to cause the body to burn more calories and sounds scientifically proven, while the other involves applying ice packs to the body in an effort freeze one’s own fat, lol.

I. am. not. kidding.

But, of course, it could backfire, and the do-it-yourself fat-freezer could wind up with frostbite if too much ice were applied too directly. And naturally, there’s no evidence whatsoever that such a treatment would prove efficacious. About the only indication that it might work is the understanding that cold packs are often placed on swollen injuries and they shrink in size. Somehow, non-medical person that I am, I don’t think that’s quite the same.

Maybe it is.

Additional articles suggest that thermodynamics must also be understood. Simply placing ice against the skin is not enough. There should be the ability to whisk away the heat in melted water, in other words, in liquid ice, while the “rotated” (for want of a better word) cold pack continues being applied at the optimal temperature. This would supposedly mimic the suction effect of the Coolsculpting. To my mind, any time we are damaging cells or causing potential pain, one must be careful. There’s a reason people go to board-certified dermatologists for such procedures, even if they have a Registered Nurse on staff who performs such services.

Maybe we can freeze our fat, ourselves. Those who run around in those heat-inducing, aluminum-foil, sauna suits might have it all wrong. Anyways, it’s a thought: if you can’t burn off the fat, maybe you can freeze it off.  Cold vests and other devices are sold online for a reason.

But what with global warming and everything, freezing may not be the way to go. Frozen or fried, one thing’s for sure: the fat has got to go, lol.

Perhaps a little diet and exercise would do the trick….

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