*Disclaimer! These questions are not a generalisation. This is from both, strangers, and a few people I personally know. Don’t get offended men of the world. But please do leave some more questions in the comments! Just as, these answers are not the opinions of every girl either.*
This post has been a bit of fun! So please take it that way. For anyone who is (worryingly) here to actually read about this and take it as advice, you’ll notice how different each of the answers are! All the Women have been anonymised and given beautiful colours, plus the post looks pretty right? Again, please don’t forget to like, share and subscribe!
“Do women ever like to be approached romantically in public? If so, what’s the most appropriate time and place? e.g. if a guy thought you were very attractive and you were both in the queue for a Starbucks, is it okay for him to ask for your number? (irrespective of the outcome)”
Red: Yes – wouldn’t mind – as long as he didn’t shout it out and make it very public for everyone to hear and is polite.
Orange: Public place such as a bar would be fine but queueing for coffee, not the best place. Some public areas are inconvenient.
Green: I guess this depends on your approach – if you’re in a queue and the girl happens to be behind or in front of you then there’s no harm in striking up an innocent conversation and seeing where it goes. On the other hand, if you’re ogling a girl and making it seem obvious you’re likely to start a conversation this might make her feel uncomfortable and you might not receive the response you want. In other words, you have to play it cool . Also, pay attention to the kind of vibes you’re getting from the girl. Is she just responding to you because she doesn’t want to be rude? Or does she genuinely seem interested in what you have to say? If so, then ask her for her number – the worst she can do is say no and you’re likely to never see her again. As for the appropriate time and place, I can’t really say if there is one, but from personal experience, it’s always better to strike a conversation with a girl that is alone or far away from her friends for the moment. There’s nothing more awkward for a girl to be singled out when she’s standing (or sitting) with her buddies – believe me, it’s happened.
Blue: Depends on the situation, for example, if she’s making eye contact, smiling at you, she’s giving off the right vibe… then proceed. BUT if she isn’t giving you th0t vibe then you gotta let that fish go! Lol
Purple: I like it when men do that, just don’t stare too long it looks a bit creepy. 100% if you don’t make it obvious so it’s embarrassing, I’ll probably be more likely to give you my number! I think it’s more about what you say to be honest. #NoTimeForCheesyLines
“The Asian mentality regarding ‘right age’ to get married, Do you agree?”.
Red: I think despite how the world has moved on – the Asian mentality on when to get married is still the same and is still there in a majority, if not all, of people’s lives. There’s always a pressure within family, family friends, the nosey aunts who are always like when are you going to get married as soon as you hit mid-twenties.
Orange: Get married straight after university, at a young age of twenty/twenty-four before 30.
Green: There is no right age. Despite your grandparents, parents, siblings or the lady down the road telling you ‘it’s time for you to get married’, there just is no right ‘time’. Asians need to understand that marriage is not something you can put a time stamp on. It is a serious decision – if not the biggest decision you will ever make in your life, so I will say it again, there is no ‘right age’. Maybe there was a time where things were different, and women and men could be told they had to get married and that was that. But times are changing, marriage is becoming less about what and who your parents will prefer, and more about whether it is something you want. No woman would want to marry a man if he was only doing it for his mum. They want to marry a man who is confident that he is ready for the commitment, and ready for the struggles that a married life will surely bring. So, tell all those ‘aunties’ who make comments about you getting married, to mind their own business and that YOU will decide when it’s YOUR time.
Blue: I don’t think there’s a “right age” but whenever you’re ready I guess
Purple: I’m over it. I’m over the culture that seems to be confused that we live in the West. I’ll get married when I want and to who I want. Simple as.
“Does a man’s previous number of sexual partners affect whether you see him as a suitable boyfriend?”
Red: No but would defo get him to do an STI check-up beforehand.
Orange: Yes, too many girls means he can’t control himself.
Green: Hmm this is a hard one – I guess it depends on the number, and if it’s considerably different in comparison to the prospective girl. But honestly, by the time you reach the conversation regarding your ‘ex’s’ a girl will, more likely than not, already know whether she likes you. And if she likes you enough it shouldn’t reeaaally bother her, although it could cause her to become self-conscious, so just make sure you clear up any doubt she might have in her mind. That said, she might also have questions which you should be prepared to answer…
Blue: If I like him enough, it wouldn’t but deep down I feel like it would make me feel insecure
Purple: I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t completely bother me. I think if you’ve been with people and it gets to some kind of ridiculous number, it will matter. You judge people on their actions right, if you’re sleeping with loads of people it speaks volumes about you and how you are. There’s got to be an average number, nothing too over that I guess.
“When you say “I’m fine”, are you really fine?”
Red: HELL NO.
Orange: Probably not, easiest response when you are not fine.
Green: Well… isn’t this the million-dollar question! I hate to break it to the male population, but when a girl says she’s fine. It mostly means she’s fine. There may be the occasion where ‘I’m fine’ might mean that a girl just doesn’t want to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering her at that moment, and she just needs some space to get over whatever it is in her head. There really is no need for a guy to second guess what girls mean when they tell you they’re fine, because trust me, if there is an issue and you are the cause of it, an ‘I’m fine’ will be the least of your worries.
Blue: Long story short, No lol…We need some TLC
Purple: Depends on the girl’s character. If I’m honest 99% of the time, no. absolutely not. I AM NOT FINE! But if it’s not bothering me that much that’s a standard response for everyone! I’d say if I was reaaaallly not fine.
“When you say “go have fun”, do you actually want us to have fun?”
Red: Yeah of course, obviously within reason like I wouldn’t be like yeah go to a strip club and have fun.
Orange: Yeah it’s best to enjoy and it builds up trust.
Green: I don’t know about all girls, but I’m pretty sure most will mean it when they say they want a guy, or their guy, to have fun. You’re allowed to have fun without your ‘other half’ and go spend some time with the guys, just like us girls can have ‘girls nights’ – it’s a two-way thing and both parties should be cool with it.
Blue: Personally, When I say it I genuinely mean it hahah!
Purple: Yes I am not a complete psychopath. Go live your life. You got a girl that gives you rules, remind her you already have a mother and you don’t need another one. Just remember, what you can do, she can do too.
“How important is a guy’s wealth, earning and job prospects to a woman finding a man aka why are girls such gold diggers?”
Red: I think it’s just about stability – so it should be important for both the man and woman to be financially stable – not just the guy. A woman should be independent and not rely on a guy and vice versa too. Obviously, if you like going out etc you don’t want to be paying all the time for both – often splitting it is good so he should be able to afford his own expenses too. I think it’s wrong for a man to pay for everything. I don’t understand gold diggers myself.
Orange: A decent salary to help support one another.
Green: I can’t say that girls aren’t gold diggers because there are some out there. However, I speak for the other 99% of the female population () when I say that a man’s wealth is not the hugest issue. Nowadays, women earn their own money so the prospect of a man being the ‘breadwinner’ has all but vanished from modern society. That said, most women will still want a man who possesses a certain amount of ambition when it comes to his career, but his pay packet doesn’t have to read six figures. As long as, collectively, you both have the means to do the things you want to do, that’s all that matters. So, in answer to the question, a man’s wealth plays a lot less importance than it did 20 years ago. There are a lot of other factors that take precedent, in my opinion, which has nothing to do with the amount you earn or your job role, like you as a person.
Blue: If you’re ambitious and if you have potential, then that’s all that matters. Plus 0n independent woman wouldn’t worry about how much you’re earning, because she’ll have her own
Purple: It doesn’t. I want a career and money of my own. Most girls want guys on the same level as them anyway. Not like there aren’t guys out there who want “princess” type girls who just want to buy them gifts and there’s no denying there are some crazy girls out there, (B•tches be crazy, am I right!?) who want guys to leach off. If by your twenties you’re finding those kinds of girls, I suggest you go looking in a new place.
“What do girls perceive as the right time/age to leave parents’ home and if it’s okay to live with in laws after marriage?”
Red: It varies on the woman of course. I think if you are independent and sensible enough to leave home then any age is good. I personally would not agree with living with in laws after marriage – but that is because of personal views of seeing my parents living with in-laws and how troubling it can be – so for me, it’s a straight no.
Orange: Okay to live with in laws if they respect the girl and treat her well. Never a good time to leave parents’ house but when you want to start your own family you have to leave.
Green: As answered in the question above, there is no right time for marriage, and so for a woman, there is no right time to leave her parental home. It’s just a matter of when she feels she is ready. Of course, the Asian culture will tell you it should be between the years of 23-25 (cue eye-roll).
As for the part about living with in laws, this is all about personal preference. Although, in my opinion, its dependent on why a man would want to live with his parents, and what it is he would expect from his future wife if this is the case. Is it because he is genuinely concerned about his parents’ welfare? Or is it because he simply doesn’t have the means to provide and staying with his parents would serve as the ‘easy’ option as he won’t be expected to take out a mortgage for himself? If it’s the former, then I can’t imagine most girls would object. But that doesn’t mean that other factors wouldn’t come into play that you would need to think carefully about, such as, whether all parties could get along and live together, or whether the parents would be the type to meddle in matters between the husband and wife. If this is something you would want your future wife to consider then you just have to be careful how you say it – make sure there is no room for misunderstandings. Highlight your intentions, explain what you expect from her in return and there shouldn’t be a problem. However, if your reason is the latter of the two questions, then, well… good luck finding an angel.
Blue: Personally, if I’m mentally and financially stable to do so then why not?… I personally wouldn’t want to live with my in laws long term, however on a short term basis in order for us to get settled I would.
Purple: I would want someone to be open to moving out of their parental home. If I’m moving, why aren’t you open to doing the same? I hate guys who have some kind of mummy complex and never want to leave home. I think girls would want someone who’s financially mature, let’s go get a mortgage together and cry about it for the rest of our lives, that’s being an adult! Don’t even ask me to rent. Just don’t.
“What’s it really like to be on your period?”
Red: It’s such a pain – god help us all when you are on your period. It hurts – physically, emotionally, and mentally. We just want to be looked after. And the mood swings are as atrocious for us as they are for guys on the receiving end.
Orange: Annoying, get so emotional and it is painful and makes you super tired.
Green: It’s basically a week of pain in your lower abdomen (sometimes your legs too). If the pain is intense (which most of the time, it is) every other little thing in the room could cause you to become irritated. Add in the fact that you will constantly be paranoid you might have ‘leaked’ all over your work trousers and chair, your period can easily just be put to the back of your mind (Not!). Then when it finally comes to the end of your week it’s time to count the days down in dread till the next one arrives (Yay don’t you just love mother nature!).
Blue: Iʼm pretty good if Iʼm honest, but the rub up to it is when I get moody and have migraines like crazy
Purple: It feels like mother nature is a jealous cow and I’m being punished for having a uterus. Like someone’s stabbed you in the womb and twists the knife around for about a week. It’s the most confusing hormonal week (or as many days you last). Like my body is saying no but my hormones are saying oh hello .
“Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups/ together?”
Red: Often to pee, top up their makeup, fix their outfit, to check themselves out in the mirror and make sure they all look ok, and also to gossip about how the night is going!
Orange: In case someone tried to kidnap us or to chat about things away from everyone.
Green: No idea. When one girl says they’re going to the bathroom it’s just normal to respond, ‘I’ll come too’, whether you realise you need to pee or not, you can go check you don’t look like death in the bathroom mirrors.
Blue: Simple…safety in numbers lol also itʼs a good time for us to have a quick catch up and to have a chat about our outfits/make up
Purple: We talk about whoever we just left at the table or to recap on what just happened. If we take ages be afraid. Be very afraid.
“After thousands of years, why haven’t you realised that we don’t pick up on subtle hints?”
Red: Because we expect you to understand and it’s so simple and easy to pick up on hints. Like its just common sense just to think. Why do we have to be so explicit and then we as women come across as demanding etc.
Orange: Because we think we are being obvious so we expect to you catch on.
Green: Because we hope one day guys will somehow become clever enough to pick up on our subtle hints. I live in hope that there must be some out there that can.
Blue: Well we’ve evolved so I think its time for a change haha.
Purple: Who asked this question?! If you’re a girl or a guy you can pick up on ANY hint. It just depends if you’re flipping dense. If you can’t sense it, are you even paying attention?!
“What do you find most attractive in other women?”
Red: Their hair, makeup, dress sense, if they’ve got a good bum to be fair their smile/teeth if they’re independent and successful – its admirable. If I see a good looking woman and I will appreciate that.
Orange: Hair and eyes.
Green: Their confidence, positivity and humour.
Blue: For me, it’s how a woman holds themselves, if you’re kind and humble then that is also a very attractive trait.
Purple: Women who try to lift up other women, they’re genuinely nice and you don’t sense some sort of agenda from them. If they honestly don’t like you, they’ll keep out of your way. Girls who are just building friendships and things part time are awful people. I love women who grow into women and are going to raise the same kind of girls too. I love that.
“What do you think is the main difference between men and women?”
Red: Women are more encouraged to be in touch with their emotions, whereas, men aren’t, but that is a social construct and is obviously not the case. I think men have to act like they aren’t emotional and all lovey dovey and just a bit caring which would be nice – when they actually are – and women like that too.
Orange: Men like to hide their emotions and act brave and strong whereas woman like to discuss their feelings.
Green: Personally, the biggest difference that I have seen is that men are fickler than women.
Blue: Us women care too much and you guys don’t care enough
Purple: Maturity. Sorry but women do mature quicker than men, at any age! I’ve met people my age and they’re mentally ten and guys who are 8 years older and they’re on my level, or vice versa. But I always think men are lagging behind women.
“What’s something all women know to be true, but most men don’t?”
Red: You’re not going to die if you have the flu – the man flu situation. How difficult pregnancy can be and how women are pressured in our society. Just because I’m moody doesn’t mean it’s the time of my month.
Orange: Not too sure.
Green: Women are not complicated. All you have to do is genuinely ask questions you want the answers to and then just really listen to those answers.
Blue: We are always right and you’re too stubborn to realise it.
Purple: Women see potential pretty early, I think that’s where guys think some girls are a bit looney. We make the mistake of not keeping some thought in our heads to not make us look like crazy people but it’s always because we see potential in your or thinks before you do. So depending on the situation, we see then end goal or outcome quicker. We know what’ll kind of happen or what we want to happen before you do. Take it as a complement though, if a girl likes you she can see potential!
“Why do some girls like to gossip?”
Red: I think some girls just like to gossip as it’s something they can do with their friends – harmless gossip so maybe talking about how the night is going is ok. When women are gossiping about others in a negative way (otherwise known as Bitching) then this is an issue and as a woman, I hate this – and hate that women can be like this as it brings the whole sex down. Some women can just be horrible.
Orange: Something to talk about and discuss.
Green: They either don’t have enough of their own problems to be concerned with, or they’re trying to distract themselves from their problems by gossiping.
Blue: It’s fun and interesting and guys like gossip too
Purple: Oh please. The best gossip I have is with guys! Let’s not deny that gossip is a human being problem, not a girl one.
“Do girls honestly like the nice guys?”
Red: Yes definitely. Maybe when we are younger and immature we think the ‘bad’ guys are cool etc. but as we get older and mature – we just want stability and maturity! Nice guys are the ones we want to settle down with – depends on the woman’s maturity. If she likes the bad guys – then I think personally think she is still immature and you may clash in the future – but that’s my opinion.
Orange: Nope, girls like the boy to be slightly cocky
Green: Yes, they do. It just takes them a little time to differentiate the nice guys from the ‘mean’ guys. So, the nice guys just need to make sure they stay nice .
Blue: Yes!! The nice guys always wins
Purple: YES OMG YES! SOMEONE FIND ME A GUY WHO ISN’T TRYING TO BE A PRICK PLEASE! We all want nice guys, all the normal girls do anyway. There’s a fine line between getting yourself in the friend zone though. Be nice, but be upfront about if you like us or not. Cause if you don’t it’s better to tell someone straight away!
Lastly, thank you for reading my post! A big thank you to the wonderful women who offered to answer these questions! All of them combined make a great read!
نمرا
“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” – Mary Engelbreit
