So I am seated here at my computer. Listening to 'Heathens' by One Twenty One Pilots and reminiscing the events from today. Nothing extraordinary except a conversation I had with a friend at the end of the day at school.
We were standing there, waiting for the bus, lost, in one of the most convenient silences we have ever shared, when she spoke.
"I feel I know so little of you. We usually talk of me. Tell me something about you."
"What do you wanna know? Why don't you start by asking questions." I replied.
"Alright.......Are you Lonely." She said out of the blue. I mean, it totally took me by surprise.
I kept quite giving her a chance to continue. "You're such an extrovert and sometimes, I feel it's because you're lonely. "
"No. I mean, I'm in a different space in my life.."
"You told me to be Frank and now it's your turn.'
(NOTE: I am only just reminiscing. Dialogues may vary from original.)
Just then her bus got called and we parted ways but the question still hung in the air till much after. So while coming back home, I thought about it. And this is the frank answer to her very frank question-
There are times, often these days, where I feel extremely lonely. Not because of anything else but because I exist on a different plane at the moment. Even still, everyday, I share happy moments with many of my colleagues.
I don't have a best friend at the moment. I haven't had one since fifth grade. I love making new friends but somehow find it difficult to keep up with them. I can easily get people to open up to me but have found it hard to open up to them. It's not that I can't talk to them. It's just that talking to my friends about my personal life would be giving them a sad endless monologue. I have Pain in my life. I don't want people to see me as that. I want people to see me as a happy person. I bubbly, carefree and cheery person.
I've hidden secrets and sadness and still found a way to be happy.
The above doesn't make me a bad friend. If you are my friend, I promise to be there for you no matter. I am the girl who finds broken people and fixes them. I take the pain from inside of them. Some of that pain is left with me and the rest gets discarded.
For example, I have friends in my class who swear by my companionship but still prefer sitting with their other friends. I don't have friends I go to ComicCon with but I have friends whose secrets I hold.
Going back to her question, am I lonely? Yes, sometimes. But I know it won't last forever and I'll have chances to start over with new people. And then I'll make sure all my friends are not friends with all my enemies.
Having said all of the above, I don't think I am perfect and wherever I am responsible for my loneliness, I try to change.
As for this friend of mine, I hope you found out a little more about me. But I also expect you to have lots of questions which I will answer, in hopes you learn even more. I am not alone but solitude. Some paths we are supposed to walk on alone. I would love to have someone to go to ComicCon with someone but, till then, I am ready to walk along the path without cribbing. And I refuse to be unhappy.
We were standing there, waiting for the bus, lost, in one of the most convenient silences we have ever shared, when she spoke.
"I feel I know so little of you. We usually talk of me. Tell me something about you."
"What do you wanna know? Why don't you start by asking questions." I replied.
"Alright.......Are you Lonely." She said out of the blue. I mean, it totally took me by surprise.
I kept quite giving her a chance to continue. "You're such an extrovert and sometimes, I feel it's because you're lonely. "
"No. I mean, I'm in a different space in my life.."
"You told me to be Frank and now it's your turn.'
(NOTE: I am only just reminiscing. Dialogues may vary from original.)
Just then her bus got called and we parted ways but the question still hung in the air till much after. So while coming back home, I thought about it. And this is the frank answer to her very frank question-
There are times, often these days, where I feel extremely lonely. Not because of anything else but because I exist on a different plane at the moment. Even still, everyday, I share happy moments with many of my colleagues.
I don't have a best friend at the moment. I haven't had one since fifth grade. I love making new friends but somehow find it difficult to keep up with them. I can easily get people to open up to me but have found it hard to open up to them. It's not that I can't talk to them. It's just that talking to my friends about my personal life would be giving them a sad endless monologue. I have Pain in my life. I don't want people to see me as that. I want people to see me as a happy person. I bubbly, carefree and cheery person.
I've hidden secrets and sadness and still found a way to be happy.
The above doesn't make me a bad friend. If you are my friend, I promise to be there for you no matter. I am the girl who finds broken people and fixes them. I take the pain from inside of them. Some of that pain is left with me and the rest gets discarded.
For example, I have friends in my class who swear by my companionship but still prefer sitting with their other friends. I don't have friends I go to ComicCon with but I have friends whose secrets I hold.
Going back to her question, am I lonely? Yes, sometimes. But I know it won't last forever and I'll have chances to start over with new people. And then I'll make sure all my friends are not friends with all my enemies.
Having said all of the above, I don't think I am perfect and wherever I am responsible for my loneliness, I try to change.
As for this friend of mine, I hope you found out a little more about me. But I also expect you to have lots of questions which I will answer, in hopes you learn even more. I am not alone but solitude. Some paths we are supposed to walk on alone. I would love to have someone to go to ComicCon with someone but, till then, I am ready to walk along the path without cribbing. And I refuse to be unhappy.
