I don’t know about you, but I’ve found this year to be one of the most challenging I’ve ever encountered – and for me that’s saying something!

It started last year when I returned back to the UK from a trip abroad that I had hoped would be a Dream come true. Things never turn out like we expect though, do they? It was a dream come true, at least for a little while, but it was the returning home bit that tripped me up.

Things never turn out like we expect though, do they?

Anyway, after a challenging few months back in the UK, coming to terms with the loss of my dream and the acceptance of what life had thrown my way, I eventually made a decision at the end of last year that would change everything: to break free from a destructive life-long relationship. (I’m not going to go in details about that now, I will save that for another time, but yes, it was with a family member.) You see, moving abroad set me free from that relationship. Or so I believed. But life had other plans.

My Spirit Guides told me repeatedly that I had to return to the UK to finish the Karma between myself and this family member. It was time to cut the ties. So I did.

Once free, I fell into 2017 in a head-long tumble and bounced off my face, picked myself up, dusted myself down – not literally! – and set to recovering my identity. Or rather, letting go of my identity and finding a new one. The one that was hidden underneath all the layers of issues caused by years of abuse, rejection, being deceived and manipulated.

As I said, this year hasn’t been easy.

I’m into the esoteric sciences: Astrology, Numerology, Divination and so on, and this year provided me with a conflict of influences: follow my heart and put to good use the abundance of new energy that was flowing through me by launching a new career path, OR, allow myself the time to Rest, recover and come to terms with all the significant change.

I chose to follow my career. The creative energy that was flowing through me was hard to ignore and gave me fidgety feet. I couldn’t sit still. I had to do, do, do, and create!

After ignoring most of the signs that were telling me to slow down and rest, I continued to seek out new ways to earn an income. To no avail. I hit closed doors. One after another.

A few months ago, I ended up burning out and suffering from a series of health problems and had no choice but to abandon my new quest, and rest.

“Where is the money going to come from?” I shouted at Spirit, repeatedly while pacing around in a state of anxiety and fear.

It never comes when, how or from where we think it will, and by now you would have thought I’d have realised that, with all the unexpected twists and turns I’ve encountered in my life. But now I do realise it. Again. Life has shown me, once more, that our needs will always be met if we let go of the ‘how’ or ‘when’ or ‘what’.

So it has taken me until this month of November (which for me is a 9 month, signalling endings and wisdom gained) to fully accept that this year would have been better for my health and well-being if I had gone with the flow, trusted the signs AND trusted Spirit, and slowed down. I could have still pursued my new career goal, but at a much more leisurely pace. But then if I had, I wouldn’t have learnt all the REALLY IMPORTANT lessons I’ve learned this year. Blah!

our needs will always be met if we let go of the ‘how’ or ‘when’ or ‘what’

Truth is, I’ve been trying to distract myself from all the emotional fall-out that comes with ending a long term relationship. But now I’ve decided to stand still and face myself,  my health is improving, my mind is clearing and the anxiety and tears are ebbing away.

I wouldn’t change anything about how I have dealt with this challenging year. I value everything that I have experienced and learnt from it, but I do realise that I had stopped flowing with the natural cycles of life.

Over the last few years, I have lived my life by following the wisdom of numbers. I have made decisions and taken action when it seemed appropriate, but this year I stopped. And this year I’ve felt as though I was paddling backwards against the flow.

The good new is, I’m back in the flow. I’ve let a lot of unhealthy beliefs leave my consciousness, given my mind and body the rest it needed and I’m in a state of receiving instead of always giving.

Life can’t give us what we need if we refuse to accept its guidance, can it?

Life can’t give us what we need if we refuse to accept its guidance, can it? I’ve been learning that this year, and last year. So now I open my arms – and my ears – and wait to receive!