In spite of overwhelming negativity, in the world, on the news, with my life, I have decided to take my negative thoughts and turn them around into positive ones. I think I can do this now that I am medicated and have a job pending.

Starting a new job brings with it a lot of anxiety, especially when you haven't worked in nine months, have three needy teenagers, needy husband, needy sick in laws etc. So every time I get a thought about "how am I ever going to get this done when I start work?" I'm going to write it down and figure out ahead of time how I will cope with the situation. I will also need a little mazel in my life, g-d willing the in-laws will heal and no one else will get sick. It seems that I am the one accompanying all the other family members to a million doctor, dentist, orthodontist and now a new one, podiatry, appointments. Ah...I forgot the dog....he needs an echocardiogram to check out his heart murmur.

My husband, who is a teacher, actually has an easier commute and a shorter schedule than I do . He's just going to have to take back some of the errands that he delegated to me. I'm not sure how he will cope with it, since he's taking a graduate course too....

Life is just overwhelming. My parents had such a simpler easier life. My mom was home, and things were calm and reliable. We could live on one income, even though my dad was a modest earner. My sister and I had most of everything we needed, and we were educated through college without student loans. I think a lot of families must be cracking under this pressure cooker of a life we live. And don't get me started about Yeshiva tuition...that's for another day.

Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts......pleasant dreams....