I can't tell you the grief I'm feeling for Michael Jackson. It feels surreal, I felt like he couldn't die. hehe, because he was MICHAEL JACKSON! You know what I mean? I first heard a work and went straight to the internet. And about an hour later I found it was official. It made my stomach hurt, I felt funny. Hearing that news fucked the rest of my day.

Farah Fawcett, Ed McMahon and, even worse, the 2 year-old that was kidnapped here a few days ago was found dead. It is a horrible last couple of days, actually I think 24 hours in death and I can't take anymore. I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Michael Jackson. I regret never seeing him perform live, I think I would have fainted anyway, but at a couple of concerts I realize I don't do well in crowds of people pushing and shoving so it's just as well. Still, I grew up with him, watching him, singing his songs, wearing his buttons, buying his merchandise. I mean he was an international icon. Kids didn't know who the president was but they knew Michael Jackson.

What upsets me is the asshole haters online who disrespect his death and his life. I don't want to be racist or prejudiced but I have come across only white people who seem to wonder why this is even news. I'm not saying all white people, because people of many races and cultures were fans, but the shit heads I encountered were jackasses. And of course people online were still making jokes and such. And I think when the child sex allegations came it got worse, and for those who didn't like him it gave them just cause to openly hate him. Michael Jackson is not a child molester. Okay, I believe he was in the bed with kids, playing with them, rolling around with them. But he's a kid, he never had a childhood! And I know the parents of those kids told them to a find way to put that out there.

I was sad for Michael because he didn't much of a life. I cared about him, personally I cared about him because he really didn't have much in the way of support from anyone, from family, friends, lawyers, etc. Everyone just wanted money, money, money.

He grew up in the spotlight, he had men, women and children fainting at one hand gesture. He just did not get a life, and he wasn't just a celebrity, he was a SUPER celebrity, and I think his childhood combined with other personal issues did not help him as an adult. And it made people believe what they wanted to believe but I think if you looked at the obvious you would know better.

I am glad to have come up and been in an era that included him because I know 2 or 3 generations later there will never be another Michael Jackson, like I don't see us getting another Michael Jordon either. But good that generations can see videos and see what was, like many people can see videos of The Beetles and Elvis.

I'll miss you Michael.