Ice queen, that’s what he calls me.
I live with a bleeding heart of ice.
I try to be indifferent, try not to care.
And he’s trying very hard
To chisel away the protective layers,
The walls I have built around myself.
I’m trapped inside a cage,
A self-imposed fortification.
He thinks I’ve forgotten how to love.
No, I still remember.
I am tortured by my memories.
I yearn for intimacy,
A closeness with another.
I long to make myself vulnerable to someone.
For someone.
But I’m afraid, so I keep building walls.
He will eventually get bored or give up.
They always do.
So I will sit here alone. Again.
And I will continue to build, to protect.
They can’t hurt what they can’t reach.