Have you ever experienced the joys of a back seat driver?

“This is only a 30km/hour zone,” my friend D shouted from the back seat, and I slowed down.

“The speed limit is only 80km/hour,” my friend D shouted from the back seat, and I slowed down for one second.

“This is a 40km/hour corner,” shouted D.

I wanted to make D happy and punch him in the face at the same damn time.

It was just like Driving with my grandma when I first got my license. She would say, “Oop, the speed limit is only 50 you know.”

I was experiencing flashbacks. 

We were headed to Ucluelet BC with our beautiful ladies to watch the storms roll in from the pacific ocean. I’d never been to Ucluelet, or Tofino, and didn’t realize there was a mountain range on Vancouver Island?!? The windy road had D’s limbic system on high alert. “This is a 40km/hour corner,” D said every 46 seconds.

After an hours drive the mountains end and you arrive at crossroad; right goes to Tofino, and left to Ucluelet. We took a left, drove to the end of the road, checked into our suite, and drank a few bottles of vino.

Isn’t that why you go on vacation???

We planned to go kayaking and hiking around the Wild Pacific Trail but it rained like the God’s were angry. Jodes and I cuddled up in the suite while our friends experienced town. They came back telling lies. Nobody orders clam chowder at a bowling alley. They claimed it was the only place in town that was open. They met 14 locals, and D never felt so accepted in his life. “Uclueleters are friendly,” he said.

To settle a dispute of the bowling lane one local fellow said to D, “I’ll play you Ro, Sham, Bo! Winner gets the lane.”

D played rock, and the local played scissors. D won the lane.

Before returning home we had to visit Tofino. One thing I noticed was the overkill of Tsunami warning signs along the highway. Is that just a thing they do to scare tourists, or do people really like to live in high risk places???

I’ve never made so many Tsunami jokes in my life.

I was surprised Tofino isn’t actually built on the beach. I thought we would be driving along the city strip looking at ocean on one side, and surf shops on the other. Instead we were driving past surf shops, rain forests, and tsunami signs. Things weren’t adding up so we explored a hiking trail we found past the hospital, and at the end of the road. The trail took us to the ocean but it didn’t look like good surfing.

Tired and hungry we headed back to town to eat at Shelter restaurant. Our waitress told us the surfers hang out at Long Beach, Cox Beach, and six other beaches we passed on the highway. Our waitress also told us there is no such thing as a fast food restaurant in Tofino.

“We are all foodies here,” said the waitress.

Strange happenings. D’s better half left to find the washroom and when she came back she said, “I asked the bartender where the washroom was and he said, ‘Let’s play rock, paper, scissors, and if you win I’ll tell you were it is.'”

I know what you’re thinking… WTF! Is Ro Sham Bo an island thing??? We forgot to ask.

D wouldn’t let me drive home. Before we even arrived in Ucluelet he was saying, “BTW, I’m driving home.” The guy has full sleeve tattoo’s, he drinks Scotch on the rocks, and drives under the speed limit. I love it!

Long beach, Cox beach, and the other two beaches were unbelievable. I love sandy beaches but I don’t think I’ll be surfing Tofino anytime soon. Jodes told me the winter offers especially good waves for surfing but you wouldn’t catch me in that water on purpose. I was cold just looking at the ocean. I was also disappointed not to see any surfers.

At least we had time to take a selfie.

I don’t think it is possible to describe how hard it rained on the drive home. D was driving about six km’s per hour. Water was running down the road like a river.

The rain was so intense D got tired and I had to take over. This time we stuck D behind the drivers seat so he couldn’t see the speedometer. Low and behold— no more back seat driving! Better yet, the sun came out.

The ocean was practically glassy for our ferry ride home.

The bottom line is that exploring BC is fun, having amazing friends makes life better, and Vancouver Island folk like to play ro sham bo, I think.

Sincerely,

Devin Bisanz

P.S. here are some links to find out more about travelling to Ucluelet and Tofino:

Ucluelet BC- The Official Site

The Official Tourism Of Tofino

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