1.28am:
School is pretty much the same, you know piles of endless dishes-like homework and aissngments. And the feeling of lacking away just because one fell asleep in class. That's me. I can't help but dream of somewhere far away, well most people do, but I do it excessively. It's like part of me dropped the idea of living in an urban Country, and the other half wishes to farm in a country side. Perhaps it was the fluxotine speaking, or maybe I reckon that I've been plunging into deep Sleep so much so reality is unimportant anymore. All I care about is sleep and rest.
And it's true, 8 hours of sleep unplanned, an additional 4 hours on the comfy bed, and lastly an hour of cuddling win my baby dog. Nothing is ever enough.
Gosh I pray for better days, excluding the abuse usage of fluxotine because it's kept me insane since day one till now, like I'm just lonely, alone y'all know. In terms of friendships and relationship. I'm so lonely that I had to purchase bottles of wine on a weekly basis. Because drinking somehow made me sane. I want someone to go Halloween horror nights with me, so far to no avail. People were just busy in their lives or perhaps I'm unwelcomed enough. I just wanted to go out and have the possibly fun I never had, staying home all day drives me crazy and I got to say, I'm literally on the verge of killing myself. Haha why should anyone cares, nobody cares. I hate sleeping as much as I love to stop my brains from overdriving temporarily. I just want to have a best friend or someone who simply understands.
You know how Insanity one could get? From staying at home and discarding any family conversations. I did this to myself, oh gosh.
