I don’t know what it is about the way the light hits my room.  All I know is that it warms up my heart and lights up my soul.  All I know is that I could sit here forever admiring the unique beauty it creates.  I am aware that my world is different.  Well, that is not really true.  Technically my world is the same as anyone else’s.  However, I am sure that the way I view my life is unlike the way any other views it.

Maybe I live in a fantasy world.  Actually, I am quite sure I live in a fantasy world.  In my mind I picture myself as more beautiful than I probably really am.  I’m not saying I’m ugly.  I’m not.  But I am no top class Sex and the City beauty either.  But I put a cute flowy little dress on and suddenly that’s what I see.  It does not matter if my hair is a mess or I am not wearing any make up.  All it takes is that one article of clothing to make me feel on top of the world.  I am Carrie Bradshaw walking down the street and people can’t help but to stare in admiration as I walk by.

In my mind I picture my room as one of the most elegant and extraordinary tree houses of all time.  It is not that my room is not elegant or extraordinary to me, but it probably is not elegant or extraordinary to anyone else.  And it is certainly not a tree house.  There is just a big tall tree standing right outside my second story window.  However, the branches are just even with my gaze and if I lie on my bed at just the right angle and look up it feels as though I am lying in the arms of the tree.  It does not matter that the tree is a good three feet away from the window sill or that the old poorly designed window blocks a good portion of the wind, I lie on that bed and I can feel the rough yet comforting bark beneath me as I listen to the rustling of the leaves.  It is a tree house unlike any you have ever seen before.

In my mind I picture my love life as absolutely perfect.  Guys are constantly interested in me and I can have a boyfriend whenever I wish.  It is not that nobody is interested in me.  As one of my friends always says, “Someone is always interested”.  But, all of the guys I am interested in are of course always preoccupied with someone else.  This is obviously not ideal.  However, I hold on to the rare occasions where I feel liked, cared for, admired and suddenly my love life is perfect.  It does not matter that I am technically not single by choice, suddenly being single is exactly what I want and I just know that I can change that status at any given moment.

In my mind Nature communicates with me as though it is a living, breathing being.  It is not that nature is not alive.  There are many things in nature that live.  For instance, a tree and a flower are both able to live and to die.  However, the rain and the sun are not technically alive.  But, like a living, breathing being, nature helps to provide me with support, care, and love.  Leaves encircle me to lift me up on a very bad day, rain pours down to help me cry when I am close to tears, and the sun shines in the sky as bright as can be to offer me hope when I need it the most.  It does not matter that nature cannot speak in words or that it does not even meet half of the requirements for being an actual human being.  It communicates with me and I hear what the wind whispers and I feel the support the spinning leaves offer me.

Yes, I live in a fantasy world.  In my mind things are better than they truly are.  But I remember a time when things in my mind were worse than the reality and I cannot say that I would rather have it that way.  I choose exaggerated beauty.  I choose extraordinary.  I choose perfection.  And in doing so, I feel I am choosing not purely a life of fantasy, but purely a life of optimism.