I have a handle on many things, but one thing that is difficult is to find some time for some lovin'.

Let me tell you, Pamela (my girlfriend) is going nuts. Evidently I am both dreamy and sexy (this is from her - I don't see it myself, other than my hair. I have nice hair, it's true) and I'm drivin' her crazy. For a while after the baby came, well, it was pretty much no dice. No hard feelings from me (well, the occasional hard feelings, if you get my drift, but no real follow-through on those, because, like, woah). I did the best that I could to make her comfortable and even offered to carry her up and down stairs until she was healed, because pretty much the worst thing, other than actual intercourse, is walking up and down stairs. She's a goddamn superstar, though, and went ahead and healed herself with no help from me. She's been pretty much back to normal for about 2 weeks.

At this point, we're beginning to worry about birth control. Birth control is an issue because birth control doesn't work 100% of the time. There are no 100% surefire methods of birth control other than abstinence (and depending on your religion, that's technically not 100% either). Now, abstincence is something that we considered for about 45 seconds or so, and then we moved on. Condoms are not effective enough (as evidence, we present to you one baby, thank you very much. I'm not complaining, because, hey, best thing ever, but you know the saying - fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me). The pill is a possible solution, but it's also not 100% effective. It's not bad, but it's not the best. We've made the decision (let me restate that actually - Pamela's made the decision and I fully support and encourage her) to get an IUD. So, that aspect has been taken care of.

Then there's the whole "people, people everywhere" problem. To sum it up succinctly, there are people everywhere. Don't get me wrong, I like people, but they're around everytime we start to get the least little bit intimate. It's like the doorbell is hooked up to my nipple ring or something. However, with some planning and taking of strategic sick days, one can find the times when people are not around and not visiting and just generally not able to be in the way. Those times are good times. That leaves only one hurdle left to be overcome.

Now, she's not a very big hurdle, and really, I don't mind at all. Honestly, I love her. However, Theresa (the baby) is definitely the single greatest protector of Pamela's (rather second-rate at this point, but still ever so sexy) innocence. She waits, too, which is the worst (or funniest) part. She waits for us to get to the point where we're just about committed and then she starts to cry. There's always a laugh and a hug and a smile and then one of us will pick the little one up and figure out what she wants. Usually, all she wants is to be held for 5 seconds until things are back to normal. Then she'll go back to waiting. She's like a ninja.

That's a comforting thought to end on... my little girl is like a ninja.

I think she's sneaking up on me right now.