On the Train to London. Reasons to hate public transport:

• It smells of sweat, cornish pasties and cheap perfume
• There is unidentifiable blobs of stuff on my seat which reminds me of faecal matter
• You'll catch some deadly virus if you touch anything
• Toilet is a no-go zone as men spray all over floor, wash basin and door handle
• You have to read the Metro
• It costs £115 return