So since I have been separated I have had more people open up to me about their problems and issues than I have had in my entire life. Sometimes I think that I have become an Emotional magnet of sorts. This was definately unexpected. Here are a few of the stories I've been told:
1. At a dinner party I was seated next to a woman I had just met. She asked me if I was married and I told her that I was recently separated. She immediately began to tell me how her Husband has cheated on her but that they are trying to work it out. She thought that at least if she tried she would never have any regrets and that if it didn't work out that was okay. He was listening to the conversation from across the table the entire time. Very uncomfortable!
2. In line at a grocery store I ran into a woman I had spent an afternoon with about a month before, it was the only time I had spent with her. She was in front of me in the checkout line and we both knew that we knew each other, but didn't know where from. Once we figured it out she proceeded to tell me about her husband's depression, her oldest daughters illness, her problems at work and their financial troubles. I just stood there and nodded at the appropriate times, hopefully appearing caring and sensitive but the whole time I was Wondering 'why is she telling me all this?' I couldn't help wondering what the cashier was thinking...
3. My boss shared his Marital Problems with me while in a meeting one day. I'm not sure why, maybe just to show we had some common problems? Uncomfortable.
4. A friend I have known for over 20 years told me about the lack of sex in their Marriage, it had been 5 years since her and her husband had been intimate. She wanted my advice because apparently now I am an expert on marital problems. She wanted to know if what I experienced in my marriage was the same as her experience because if it was the same she wanted to prepare herself for him leaving her. Awkward.
5. My own Mother cried on my shoulder one day about how she should never have married her husband (my step father).......oh boy.
6. My lawyer vents about her ex every time we meet, I'm wondering if I should charge her for my time as a therapist because I feel like she is using me to work out her issues.
7. Another friend shared her problems in her marriage (no sex again) and no passionate love. I didn't know what to say.
At first I was confused that people were acting like I was suddenly their greatest confidant, but then I realized that going through 'a major life event' lets other people see that your life isn't perfect, and somehow when they know that it becomes okay for them share the imperfections in their own life. I consider it a privledge to be trusted with their secrets, but sometimes I just want to scream 'enough already, can't we just have some fun!' I don't need more emotional weight to carry around right now, I need someone to lift the weight off of me and lighten my burden. I want to lean on people, not have them lean on me, give me strength.....
Lanne
1. At a dinner party I was seated next to a woman I had just met. She asked me if I was married and I told her that I was recently separated. She immediately began to tell me how her Husband has cheated on her but that they are trying to work it out. She thought that at least if she tried she would never have any regrets and that if it didn't work out that was okay. He was listening to the conversation from across the table the entire time. Very uncomfortable!
2. In line at a grocery store I ran into a woman I had spent an afternoon with about a month before, it was the only time I had spent with her. She was in front of me in the checkout line and we both knew that we knew each other, but didn't know where from. Once we figured it out she proceeded to tell me about her husband's depression, her oldest daughters illness, her problems at work and their financial troubles. I just stood there and nodded at the appropriate times, hopefully appearing caring and sensitive but the whole time I was Wondering 'why is she telling me all this?' I couldn't help wondering what the cashier was thinking...
3. My boss shared his Marital Problems with me while in a meeting one day. I'm not sure why, maybe just to show we had some common problems? Uncomfortable.
4. A friend I have known for over 20 years told me about the lack of sex in their Marriage, it had been 5 years since her and her husband had been intimate. She wanted my advice because apparently now I am an expert on marital problems. She wanted to know if what I experienced in my marriage was the same as her experience because if it was the same she wanted to prepare herself for him leaving her. Awkward.
5. My own Mother cried on my shoulder one day about how she should never have married her husband (my step father).......oh boy.
6. My lawyer vents about her ex every time we meet, I'm wondering if I should charge her for my time as a therapist because I feel like she is using me to work out her issues.
7. Another friend shared her problems in her marriage (no sex again) and no passionate love. I didn't know what to say.
At first I was confused that people were acting like I was suddenly their greatest confidant, but then I realized that going through 'a major life event' lets other people see that your life isn't perfect, and somehow when they know that it becomes okay for them share the imperfections in their own life. I consider it a privledge to be trusted with their secrets, but sometimes I just want to scream 'enough already, can't we just have some fun!' I don't need more emotional weight to carry around right now, I need someone to lift the weight off of me and lighten my burden. I want to lean on people, not have them lean on me, give me strength.....
Lanne
This post first appeared on Surviving Separation: My Journey As It Unfolds, please read the originial post: here
