It’s been 10 days since I ordered my E-bike.

It’s strange how it feels like a piece of me is missing even though I never owned this piece of me in the first place.  But I understand.  I owned $2700 and that $2700 was a piece of me and now that it’s gone, I want my damn E-bike to compensate for my loss.  So in a round-a-bout way, yeah – my E-bike feels like it’s a part of me even though we were never formally acquainted.

It’s Friday.  It’s 10:21 AM.  And I don’t have to work.

I had a bad dream last night.  The world was ending and my mom wanted to stay here in town to be with her friends, but my dad wanted to get us to our cottage in Rhode Island.  He thought we had a better chance of surviving out there.  I agreed with him.

There’s really no right or wrong choice on whether to stay or to go.  It comes down to what kind of person you are in the end – when shit hits the fan, who are you?  Do you seek comfort amongst family and friends?  Or do you fuck everybody and do your own thing?

I guess I’m the type to fuck everybody and do my own thing.  Well, fuck everybody except my immediate family that is.  Because in the end, I’m a horrendous cynic and believe that everyone will fuck me over the first chance they get so I bess’ be on my way.

It’s my unfortunate reality.  There are people out there who believe otherwise, like my Mom, but I can’t see it.  All people ever do is use each other.

I had to go to Bozrah yesterday to massage one client.  I made it a habit of ordering food just before leaving to go home so it’s ready by the time I roll into Wallingford to pick it up after work.  And yesterday I ordered so much food.  So much…..

Egg drop soup, spring rolls, oshinko roll, philly roll, white tuna and cucumber roll, and an inari cucumber roll.

It’s a lot of freaking food.  It took me all night to eat it while playing my video game.  I loved every minute of it.

On my way back home from Bozrah yesterday, an hour drive, I didn’t listen to the radio, podcasts, or my audiobook – I instead watched the story of my book idea unfold in my minds-eye.  It was riveting.  Even while I was massaging, before I left to go home, I watched my story unfold – I didn’t want to end the massage because I was at a pivotal part in the story and didn’t want to break concentration.

The hero of my story, Chris Pratt, has finally made it to the center of “Dante’s Inferno” in his VR experience.  (Please read my previous post about my book idea to understand what I’m talking about).

So, he finally made it to the center and he learns everything there is to know about the true nature of his world.  I won’t get into explicit details, only that he finds out that his entire universe – him and everyone, everything in it – is nothing but a simulation meant to recreate historic events, help predict future events, and meet influential people of the past.

His “creators” created a perfect replica of their own universe, down to the last blade of grass and hair on a dogs head.  Chris Pratt was born 2500 years into the “creators” past – if that makes sense.

All this might be hard to follow, I’m hoping I explain it better in my book.  Chris Pratt is living in a simulated universe that is the perfect historic replica of his creators universe and Chris was born 2500 years before his creators made the simulated universe.

Leonardo DiCaprio is one of the creators.  He meets Chris Pratt in the center of “Dante’s Inferno” by transporting his image via virtual reality.

Leonardo DiCaprio – “It’s you!  It’s really You!”

Chris Pratt – “Yeah….it’s me alright.”

Leonardo DiCaprio – “Half the people of my world don’t believe you ever existed!  That you’re some fable, a made-up story.  This is unreal!  It’s unreal that you’re real!”

Chris Pratt – “Well, it turns out that I’m just a simulation so….can’t be real, can I?”  He slaps at his chest.

Leonardo DiCaprio – “No Chris, you’re not just a simulation.  You see, everything that happened in your world, happened in our world too.  If you exist here, you must have existed in real life!”

Chris Pratt – ………..

Leonardo DiCaprio – “But it turns out that you’re just a regular guy!  And a simple man at that.”

Chris Pratt – “Hey now, all my teachers told me I was special.”

Leonardo DiCaprio – “But you don’t have any special powers.  Not now anyway.  You only gain them after you come back from here simply because you learned how to manipulate the software….wait…..”

Everdeen – “I ‘spose that means your world is just as much a simulation as his.”

Everdeen is an old southern black woman from Alabama who found her way to the center of “Dante’s Inferno” after she died and Leonardo DiCaprio has been using her as a type of “Alexa” or “Siri” program to help answer questions.  Everdeen know’s everything.

Leonardo DiCaprio – “No.  No, it can’t be.  It can’t be.  Chris almighty, the simulationists were right.”

Leonardo DiCaprio – “Nobody can know about this.  Nobody can know about this!”

And he dissolves in a flash, back to his own simulated universe.

There’s a lot more to it than that.  I left out a TON of stuff, but you get the idea.  It’s a simulation of a simulation and it just keeps going down the line.

I think writing this book is the reason I was born.  If everything really is connected, and there’s a reason for everything and that reason is for us to evolve (like ayahuasca told me), then it makes sense that my job here on earth is to write this book.  Think about it.  I don’t want kids, I don’t want to get involved with anyone, I’m the most independent person that I know who owns a business that functions perfectly on its own – I basically have time to write it – I have no excuses not to.  And it’s coming to me so plainly and naturally.  It puts me in a trance, really.

It’s now 11:27.  I guess I should shower and go rollerblading or something.

It’s strange though….I’ve been writing this blog for about 8 years now and I never cared to make it “popular”.  I barely comment on other peoples blogs, I don’t dive into the blogging community by making new friends and promoting my writing – I like to stay hidden, buried in the depths to remain overlooked.  Why is this?  I think it’s so nobody can steal my book idea.  I’m the one who was meant to write it, and the universe knows it.