Some years ago I was in a wonderful resort in Jamaica with my wife for a short holiday. The majority of the tourists there were Americans. A lot of stereotypes are made about Americans but those that we encountered there were ‘normal’ people just enjoying a break in the sun. None of them fitted into the stereotypical ignorant redneck bracket. That is, except the couple from Texas, who were probably the most severe rednecks that you will meet outside of America, or Texas for that matter. I am possibly being a little unfair to the woman who wasn't totally a reckneck who showed signs of Californication on account of her big plastic tits and Tummy Tuck. I don’t for a fact know that she had a tummy tuck except that you generally don’t have abs on show when you’ve dropped 10 kids. Yes, that’s right, 10 kids. The pair of them were 33 years old and they had 10 kids, the names of which were all tattooed down the mans arm. Chuck, Chek, Chaz, Charlene, Marlene, Darlene… etc You get the picture. The mans name was not Billy-Joe-Bob, but oh lord believe me, it really should have been and for the duration of this article, it is. Billy-Joe-Bob asked my wife about where she was from. On telling him 'Bulgaria' I think he would not have looked anymore blankly had she said “I live under a giant pile of alien shit on the Dark Side of the moon”. Unfazed by his own geographical ignorance, Billy-Joe-Bobs curiosity gathered momentum and he had soon mustered up another deep and philosophical question: “So, what’s it like where you live?” A short description was given by Kallina, which was met with expression of somebody on a course of the strongest tranquilisers legally available. Once more unfazed, Billy-Joe-Bob fired off another question, this time to both of us: “How much does a chocolate bar cost where you come from?” I turned to Kallina and asked her “how much does a Snickers cost in Bulgaria?” Billy-Joe-Bob interjected: “Oh my god do you have Snickers over there?” He was amazed and overjoyed that we also have Snickers on the dark side of the moon, and why shouldn’t he be, who would have thought that they have them outside of Texas, let alone on other planets outside of America. Kallina replied to him “that’s ridiculous, of course we have Snickers, that’s like saying ‘do you have Coca Cola?’” to which Billy-Joe-Bobs amazement, excitement and joy increased tenfold “YES! We have Coca Cola too!”