I have been sitting at home all day today waiting for a delivery which hasn’t turned up!

As you may expect, this has made me a little bit annoyed, and therefore I have been searching the web for a suitable swear word to describe the suppliers and their shipping company.

The results are not suitable for the sensitivities of my readers (I do try to look after you), so instead I have listed some of the other words I have come across. All of these are true definitions (honest, you can look then up) of words you may not have heard before:


Ferrule: a collar or ring used on a rod or tube to prevent wear or splitting, or to enable a join; such as the metal ring that fixes an eraser to a pencil.

Sphygmomanometer: The device that your doctor uses to test your blood pressure.

Obeisance: a form of deference or respect (to a senior person), such as a bow, curtsy, or salute

Bowdlerize: To remove those sections of a book, script, etc. that may cause offence. Named after Thomas Bowdler, who removed all sexual references from Shakespearian plays so as not to offend Victorian audiences.

Peristerophobia: The morbid fear of pigeons.

Paterfamilias: The male head of a household or the father of a family.

Octothorpe: The correct name for the symbol “#”. Named by telephone engineer Don Macpherson, who chose the name as 1) he symbol had eight arms, and 2) he was involved in supporting Olympic medallist Jim Thorpe.

Logorrhoea: Excessive talkativeness or wordiness.

Peregrination: A journey from place to place, or wandering – usually without purpose.

Malversation: The act of misconduct (such as corruption or perjury) whilst in public office.

Gargalesthesia: The sensation caused by tickling.

Hebetude: A dullness or lethargy (often in terms of mental activity).

Arrogate: To claim or seize on object or right, to which you have no justification.

Triskaidekaphobia: The morbid fear of the number 13.

Oblation: an act of offering gifts or worship to a god.

Cognoscente: A person who is an acknowledged expert in their chosen field (particularly fine arts).

Gynotikolobomassophile: A person who obtains (sexual) pleasure from biting or sucking on a partner’s earlobe.

Phillumeny: The practice of collecting of matchbox labels.

Ossify: The process of soft tissue hardening into bone; or to mould something into a rigid or unchanging form.

Gloaming: Twilight or dusk (time of day).

Atelier: A Studio or Workshop.

Quidnunc: A person with a nosey attitude or strong curiosity.

Floccinaucinihilipilification: To judge or value something as worthless or trivial.

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian: Pertaining to very long words. [This may have originated as a joke, but seems to be gaining acceptance and use on the web].

Canthus: The corners of the eye where the upper eyelid meets the lower one.

Zenzizenzizenzic: A number raised to its eighth power.

Preantepenultimate: Forth from last.

Antepenultimate: The item between the preantepenultimate and penultimate items in a list.

Pandiculation: The stretching performed when first waking up or when yawning.

Autotonsorialist: A person who cuts their own hair.

Looking up words and definitions has started me thinking about a very funny book by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd called The Meaning of Liff, in which they use place names as definitions for various experiences in life. I have written m ore about it in Recommended Reading.


*The word Jumbo (as in of large size) comes from Jumbo the Elephant, an extremely large elephant purchased from London Zoo by P. T. Barnum in 1882, and exhibited around North America from for many years.** The elephant is believed to be named from either of the Swahili words “Jumbe” (Chief or head man) or “Jambo” (Hello), or possibly after mama dyambo, a West African god (and from where we get the phrase Mumbo Jumbo).

**Following Jumbo’s death in 1885, Barnum had a taxidermist prepare the body for continued display, but without the elephant’s bones; the skeleton was mounted and displayed separately, allowing Barnum to obtain twice the income!