Today I was confronted with a situation that challenged my thinking for sure. I had begun my day reading The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz. In it he told a story about real love. Love is something we create when we are happy from the inside out. We can never make our partner responsible for our happiness. Things don’t work that way. When you expect that from your partner, you are asking for an impossibility.

I thought I understood that when I read it but just in case I needed an example, the universe sent me one today. One of the things I like to do with my boyfriend is go bike riding. About four years ago, we bought bikes with the thought we would ride together regularly. While I wouldn’t exactly call what we do regular, we do ride together a couple times each summer. I don’t generally ride without him because I don’t like taking my bike apart to put in my car and he has a truck that can transport both our bikes. And to be completely honest, it isn’t as enjoyable for me to ride alone. He can ride with or without me and have a wonderful time. He rode last week.

Today he came to my neighborhood to ride a track right by my house. I was available and could have gone with him but he didn’t even ask me to. He called me when he was finished. I was so upset to think he was right here and didn’t even invite me along.

For many people, you probably think my hurt and anger are justified but I kept thinking about what I had read today. Ruiz talks about how we believe lies we were told. One of those lies is that if someone loves you they want to do everything with you and that you have a right to be upset if your partner doesn’t want to be with you.

True love is the unconditional support of another. It is NOT waiting around for your partner to “make you happy.” If I want to ride, I can ride pretty much any day and any time. If I want to ride with him, I can ask him. Instead, I am moping around because he didn’t invite me! What I lesson for today.

Thank you. I think I’ve got it now but I’m sure You’ll find other ways to remind me and to drive the lesson home.