Birthdays never seemed to mean anything much. Just a day that marks you are a year older according to the Gregorian calendar. Year by year, it Separates you from other people who were born in a different year and date. It separates you from the sister who has had 3 more birthdays than you, who would be the next in line for a married life. It separates you from your other older sister, who has had 7 more birthdays than you, who has a 2-year-old daughter and a son just a few months old. It separates you from your eldest sister, who already has her son in the first year of primary school and a 4-year-old daughter. It separates you from your mother, who has had 24 more birthdays than you, now already retired just as your father, who has had 25 more birthdays than you and is often heard talking about politics.

I guess birthdays are no longer that simple now. It does mark that your age has increased one year older, but it could also make you question, what has changed since the last birthday you had. Have you learned something new in your life? Did you grow as a person? Have you done more in your life than you previously wished to, or did wishes remain simply as dreamy wishes? Are you still as dreamy but not someone who is a doer and a more determined person? Are you still confused? Are you more assured of who you are now? Do you have more questions than the answers?

Maybe I hoped that someone would remind me of this. That as a year progresses in my life, I have lost more than 520,000 minutes of my life. And I have always thought in my head, how 5 minutes can be precious; but this thought somehow always gets lost somewhere and I ended up wasting it often enough somehow. I do not need to be reminded by a birthday cake or a day out at a dining restaurant, the typical ways of birthday celebrations, though I still do this. I am simply hoping for some more meaning to it. With such meaningful reminders, I would go for another year, doing better things for myself and maybe for others, fulfil myself and become even better as a person. Maybe I need a nudge from another person other than myself. Though, this nudge did not come to me this year as previously. Maybe I was waiting for it somehow, but nothing came. It was pretty disappointing.

That sucks. But life goes on.