So a few more days have come and gone... and so has Adrian... he's on a bus going back to New Orleans... I have no idea when we will see him again.  I have cried so many tears you would think there would be no more to cry... they just still seem to keep coming.

Steffie and I will be here alone.... packing up the rest of our belongings... not knowing where we will even put them.  By the end of the month we will need to be out of here because things didn't go quite the way we had planned.... not sure where we will go... but at least we now have the van... if I can't get some help from DFCS to find a place for us at least we can sleep in the van on an air mattress.... and at least we'll have nice weather for it...

I feel so alone... and I feel so hurt... I'm not sure if I'll ever feel secure again.... in such a short time going from a home and a regular income to no home and not knowing where we will live... how we will live... I never wanted this kind of life for my child... but then what mother does... it's certainly different from the cute lil house and happy home I had pictured raising her in....

Steffie cried all the way home from the bus station.... she said she doesn't know if she'll ever see her Daddy again.... my heart was broken... she loves him sooo much.... he is her favorite person in the whole world.... now our world is shattered... and we have to find a way to pick up the pieces and build a new one somehow.

I'm just so sad and alone.... no shoulder to cry on... no one to give me comfort... just a lot of tears... and a lot of boxes...


~LaShan~