Living a live against the tide can be exhausting or exhilarating depending on the attitude dished out for the Challenge. Biting the dust fighting back can be an honorable end, but the pacifist cannot be named as meek as he has a stronger will to take in the Pain and ignominy before flashing any reaction to the challenge. One may get lost at times fighting their daily battles to have the will to go on and win the war. One may never know till the end, if the last Battle fought was the end of a battle or the war itself. I am caught up in a tussle so strong that I am unable to wrestle out and stand up to be counted a victor. As there is shame in my victory and pain and infamy in my loss. I am defending honor and fighting a rebellion. A victory at the end in either of the battles is a painful and appalling end. As expected of a warrior I am to fight on unmindful of the outcome as I may not be alive to enjoy the booty or the spoils of war as my mission is a fight till the end. A self-sacrifice of my life and soul is all that is there in it for me. The pain may end only with my end or breathe on with my every breath. A swift and cold dagger thrust in my heart still fails to embrace in its fatal grasp my angry beating heart. The annoying pain diffuses all through my body numbing me to any and all pacifiers. The numerous cuts and bruises, both deep and shallow share the agony as one. Multiplied and intensified by the countless wounds all over. Living the day for today with no aspirations for tomorrow as the end is my destination and tomorrow another distraction. The battles are forced to enforce new challenges further, to draw new blood from fresh wounds to extract my life with every painful squeeze of time. To trample and crush out my infatuation to life, drop by drop. I am the General, I am the colonel, I am the captain and I am the solider in my this lonely war. I am the judge and I am the judged in my this painful trial. I am the accused I am the defendant is this tribulation of mine. I win? I lose, I lose ? I lose. A disgraced loser that’s me. The conflict goes on to fight or give up….in pain and in silence. Signing off Omer 17-Jan-2014